Category Archives: Compassion

The Great Perception Divide

Compassion, Life Coach, Listening, Perception, Reflection

The Great Perception Divide
By: Jessica Burnham

In this world of soulful genius
I live to embrace my cosmic light
My light continues, fire and ice
Through the world’s gaze into my eyes
I see willfulness and constant denial
Yet I love them both just the same
Because all I see is me, all I see is God
Twinkling, Enraged, moving into awareness.

While talking about his connection with other people’s view points or perceptions, Eckhart Tolle said in an interview recently “There is nothing I can add to it by interpreting it.” He mentioned that this also included judging or labeling what he was hearing or seeing. He described it as being ‘not identified with thought.” I’ve spent a lot of time lately dwelling in this point, meditating on it and bringing it to my own constant awareness. I have found it to be quite prophetic in such a subtle way.

If we really think about it, most of our conversations with people include our constant interpretation through our own filter, of what they are saying. One person says, I feel this way, and then we respond about how we feel about it based on our own experience. We have perceptions communicating with perceptions most of the time. I am learning through my coaching work with Debbie Ford that we are part of a program that we have developed through our past emotional experiences, and this program keeps running over and over again through our minds until we finally understand- I no longer have to be controlled by this program any longer by the grace of spirit. This program will continue to exist, and I cannot delete it, but I can become aware of the way I allow it to control me and where it happens in my life, over and over again.

What would life be like if we were not ‘identified’ by thought? What would life be like if we were not identified with anything- just simply an observer giving what we could to this world as part of its oneness? Knowing regularly that everything we give to ourselves is also given to all? This includes negative feedback that we give ourselves, not just the love! Every time we judge ourselves or feel shameful about ourselves we are also doing the same to everyone unconsciously. Because of this, the mirror will show up, it has an appointment and you made it through your action of feeling like you are not good enough, or shameful, or ridiculous- insert your own word here. When you feel a certain way about yourself, it’s going to show up- and usually you won’t like it. And who would??

As I mentioned earlier, I’ve been working with Debbie Ford in a coaching program. I recently participated in an intensive weekend where we covered this work on an amazing level. In the deep, provocative process I and many other people were participating in, we explored our inner world through many exercises guided by Debbie to reflect on this point regarding the collective consciousness. I think the culmination of everything came down to these points for me: Compassion yields the experience of one. That the world alone, broken down, actually says ‘al-one’. And, the only love we really need to know is the love of all that we are, because there is nothing else.

Developing compassion usually comes from our own experiences or reflection. Compassion is defined as: “deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it” on Answers.com. Awareness of a kind of suffering usually comes from going within and saying to ours selves, where or when have I ever felt that way in my life or been in that situation so I can relate and feel love for their predicament? Many just skip that process and automatically go into their perceptions or judgments. Living a constant state of compassion can prove to be difficult when we are enveloped in the stuff of our wounded ego or story- which we usually are, as I am learning about myself! But developing compassion can prove to be an amazing way to develop forgiveness for the past with someone, and open you up to new levels of awareness.

Our points of view will always exist. They are a part of the minds way of reasoning with the world around it and relating. But what is ironic, is the mind usually uses its points of view to separate us from one another, not to bring an understanding of how we are one with each other. In finding the humility that exists in the human experience, I am finally being led into understanding that what is most important in this life is being able to listen and love completely the beautiful spirits that constantly come into our lives- even for just a moment. And in this appreciation, I can sit in awareness and see the real beauty and diversity of what it is to be a part of this vast spirit we have so many words for in so many languages. I challenge everyone to try and just sit and listen. Candice O’Denver describes this process as watching other’s view points (as well as your own) float by you like the clouds in the sky. Because that is all they are.

Let’s heal this great divide we call separation, and see how much we are really alike- instead of how much we are really different. Because the love I feel when I look into your eyes is truly my present freedom. And I honor you for sitting here and listening to my point of view. Namaste.

Breadcrumbs into Awakening

Compassion, Listening, Meditation

Breadcrumbs into Awakening
By: Jessica Burnham

When I first began working from a deeper spiritual viewpoint in my life, I decided to read Eckhart Tolle’s “Power of Now.” I was on vacation at the beach, and so I had all day, every day, to sit there and really focus on being in the present moment. What I realize I was doing now, looking back, was sitting in awareness. Then, I began to meditate consciously for the first time. I was sitting on the beach, going into my meditation, and all of a sudden I was flying over the ocean with wild abandon and these huge deep raspberry colored flowers were bursting open at me. It was so beautiful, vivid. Sure, it was just as much a part of the maya as is my every day world and perceptions- but it was still such a life changing experience.

Most of our life is like this. The majority of it is suffering. But every so often we have a glimpse of awakening deeply into our metaphorical selves, all that we can become and experience- and it changes everything. Sometimes we meet people, and what seems like a short, simple conversation may change our life forever. We are offered so many window opportunities where the world shines before us in the most creative way. And hopefully we are at a place where we can say- that is what I am! This is divinity. We can call it so many things- and continue to make it some ‘thing’. But no matter what, those experiences lead us like breadcrumbs into the hall of awakening.

Little by little the seams unravel into our awakening. When things begin to unravel, they can feel like quite a shake up. Life feels like it is falling apart- and literally it is. But it is being readjusted as well, and our life becomes something new all over again. We’ve all heard the phrase, “Without change, there is no growth.” Change can be a pretty shocking experience at times. It will bring up things that we didn’t know existed- new mountains, rivers of lava that have been buried deep within our hearts for lives. But eventually it settles, and our new specs are adjusted- our sight changes, along with every one around us.

There is a conscious feeling that stimulates our movement. Like a subtle breeze on a beautiful summer day- the grass rustles and makes music, the leaves dance within the trees and change the way sunlight is captured through our looking glass. And if we are silent enough, we can feel that subtle movement as well. Its subtle vibration will stimulate new movement within. It does not always have to be an earthquake. It does not always have to be some big dramatic thing. Our hearts beat quietly within every day that we exist in this body. Yet with a stethoscope, the heart sounds like a deep drum providing music for those that feel restless. Listening is an action that takes initiative. You must choose to listen.
Listening will lead the way into remembrance.

Remembering what truly is. This is our journey. How often do you remember those life changing experiences that turn up the volume of your light ten fold? Or, how often do you remember those life changing experiences that are devastating? Why are we taught to always reflect on the ‘good times’ rather than all of it? Isn’t ‘all of it’ what truly makes life a journey? How can there be a journey without the muck that held us in place until we were able to take the gift of awareness and illuminate the experience? That precious muck is what gives us the gift of compassion. When we look around us and practice feeling compassion whenever we are in action, the world blooms into a different place. What a gift- the muck of life and its connection to the little glimpses of our deepest inner beauty. Thank you for accepting the muck as it is, and seeing beyond it through the preciously staged night lights of your deep, inner wisdom.

Navigating Our Expectations

Attachment, Compassion, holidays

Navigating Our Expectations
By Jessica Burnham

In light of the holiday season, I was thinking about the technique of navigating our lives through such a busy time, when expectations are at their highest all around. Each year, as Halloween concludes trick-or-treat fun in the US of A, everything begins in the retail world. You start to see the holiday schedules of your local communities publicized. A buzz begins to fill the air as we approach Thanksgiving. Once Santa goes by on the float in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade- “Christmas” officially begins- so they say. And with that holiday, a whole slew of other magically spiritual holidays as well. My favorite addition was St. Nicholas Day- being Polish, this always reminded me of the humility of old gift giving. As we put out our shoes the evening before, we knew we would awaken with shoes overflowing with oranges and nuts.

In an age where Christmas always represented huge gift giving, this particular tradition always gave me a remembrance of a time when plastic didn’t exist, and people gave sweet goodies grown from the natural world as a gift. An orange! Or try the great gift of limes in Little Women. Exotic!! As our society has moved on into the 21st Century, the expectations of what the holidays will provide have grown in such dramatic ways. There is the expectation of family gatherings, perhaps family dysfunction- whatever your life’s flavor has grown or evolved into- there is always something to expect. I really notice this with my soon to be step-daughter. No matter how overwhelmed I am, I notice that there is an expectation being communicated- what we need to do next, or how she can’t wait for the next traditional happening to take place.

So how does it play in our life, and what does it mean? Tradition is fun. It is also safe. There is a great scene in the movie Memphis Belle, where one of the World War II pilots is getting ready to fly on his last mission on a team for the plane, Memphis Belle. His dream is to open up a chain of hamburger restaurants, so if you travel to another city- you can still have the comfort of the same, reliable food you have back home. I loved this character’s dream. It always made me laugh, because it touches on our desire for ‘no surprises’ in our daily life.

Apparently, this trait seems to become stronger as we grow up. My Father never wants to try a new restaurant, because he is so afraid of how far he may be stretched into trying something new- which comes with the risk of it not tasting so good, or being exactly what he wants. How does this relate to the depth of the human spirit? And, can we remember to have compassion not only for ourselves, but for others, when life seems to be taking an unexpected turn? When we have an expectation, we have the challenge of seeing how our attachment to the outcome of a situation can really take us backwards.

Without the attachment to how an event will turn out- let alone an entire season- we can be free to experience new, beautiful aspects of our being. This usually begins within our own self perception. How often do we have great expectations of ourselves and how our life will turn out? How do these expectations imprison us with feelings of disappointment, hurtfulness, and entrapment? A lot of the time, when you really look at your expectations, they either come from a place of wanting to please someone else, or please your ego. But if we can go into a situation with the attitude that the present moment and all its gifts is much more powerful than what is going to happen in the future, we don’t waste so much energy on trying to control the world around us, including other people.

Can we really love ourselves even in the midst of our expectations of what we are “supposed” to be like? Can we really love others, when we imprison them with all our expectations of what a mother, father, sibling, husband or friend is supposed to be like? There are times in our life, where we will be challenged by our expectations. They come and they go in waves, depending on our openness and state of mind. I guess a big question we could ask ourselves- what kind of structure could we put into place for ourselves that would assist us in seeing when our ‘great expectations’ are holding us back, rather than propelling us forward into the deepest, spiritual beings we are capable of being- our selves. To be our self, to remember who we really are, comes from letting go of what we believe we are supposed to be, and just being present with what we are at all times.

In the greatest existential circles, we can view our selves as everyone around us. But when we are struggling, and really can’t see our oneness, conflict will certainly be there. If we can utilize our compassion for others around us and within us, we can begin to transform that struggle into something much more magical, without attachment and without expectations. Happy Holidays, and in the spirit of the season- Namaste!