The Great Escape
By: Jessica Burnham
Recently I was reading a book and the narrator was discussing an experience in Tibet. On her journey, she came to the realization that she was no longer able to escape herself. I though it was a profound way to explain how our world is full of great escapes from the deluded part of our spirit. It came right at a point when I had an experience of feeling trapped within myself. Only it manifested in an argument I had with my significant other.
“I’m so sick of myself!”
In the argument, I found myself feeling scared. I was being told by this mirror before me that I had been grumpy and unevenly tempered over the last weeks. Only I was confused, because I didn’t understand what he was talking about- OF COURSE. As I experienced this, I immediately felt trapped and confused. I was trapped in my delusion, sick of being around a mind that had been heavily processing emotional garbage for my coaching program. “What was I to do?”
There is a great scene in the comedy, The Forty Year Old Virgin, where the main character gets drunk and starts complaining about relationships. The character continues a dialogue regarding his perception of relationships. He says, one person is complaining and the other only hears, “Blah, blah, blah”, and then the other person is saying the same exact thing, “I don’t understand what you’re saying”, and all they hear is “Blah, blah, blah”. This struck me as a comedic representation of our being trapped within our delusions and feeling sick of being there.
The feeling I had in my own relationship argument was like being in a strait jacket. It reminded me of one of my greatest fears as a child. My friends and I would play a game of laying on the edge of a carpet. We would then roll up the other into the carpet. I felt frightened as I was rolled up. I couldn’t move and I was at the mercy of the other. I had to trust that they would unroll me, and not step on my chest, crushing my lungs and causing the inability to breathe.
How many of us have felt this within our own circles? Where we experienced another, so it seems, telling us something that was painful to hear. And we felt that sensation again- of being rolled up in the carpet with nowhere to go. Then, having to trust in our openness, that we would not be suffocated by these words, as the mind would tell us through fear and emotional chaos- “You are going to be destroyed.”
Entering this ‘risky’ territory is like walking into a room with uneven footing in the darkness. As we take a new step, we have no idea where that foot will land. But once we face this unknown darkness, and open ourselves up to the possibility of our intimate relationship with it with acceptance, the fear dissolves. The key is to trust that this outcome can exist, and that you deserve it.
There is no real escape from the darkness of the self and its deluded positions. Freedom comes with this realization. No matter what we do, or how hard we look, the only thing you will ever see over and over again is what you run away from and try to escape.
What do we use as escapes? What is the first thing we turn to when our greatest illusions come to the forefront of our awareness? Do we become victims? Do we turn to shopping, food, mind altering substances or illness? I’m sure we could all create a list of our very own, and perhaps we should.
But eventually, our “great escape” plan fails us, and sitting right in front of us is that which we began to run from. Resistance is probably one of our greatest manifestations. What kind of life could we have if we took all the energy we put into resistance, and channeled it into loving and appreciating the wholeness of our beings?
What does the word wholeness mean to you? Does it include your darkness? What would be given to us through the acceptance of our darkness? I feel our darkness is a living part of us and this world. It lives within us. It is feared, escaped and loathed. Our darkness needs the opposite- acceptance, compassion, forgiveness and love. Only then will our awareness increase to recognize the greatest gift in our soul- our oneness, or our wholeness. Peace will emanate into our heart, and the hook of hate that we project from within onto another will dissolve. Just like a friend who is lonely and going through something traumatic, our own darkness is that friend within ourselves.
When we are in a safe place, with like minded individuals, all relating to a similar stage in growth, it becomes easier to not let go of our positions. When we are out there, really out there, being challenged every day in our jobs, the grocery store, traffic- this is when the darkness can really show itself. You are constantly receiving messages in random conversations or happenings. If we can be open to the teachings within these experiences we enable our life to be one big teaching, reflecting every aspect of the divine like a miracle. This is the brilliance behind being alive.
“I believe in you. I believe in me.”
We are never lost, we are always being led. And no matter the temporary delusion of escaping- your gift of life will continue for you to use, whether it is in this life or the next. Why not take advantage of this one, acknowledge this incredible gift. Acknowledge the work you are constantly doing for the world, as you bloom in your awareness by facing your wholeness- your darkness and your light. When darkness encapsulates the light that you see around another, turn to them and say, I believe in you. Do it by loving them unconditionally, seeing them for who they really are and who they are becoming. In the same moment, turn to your own heart with a belief in spirit’s grand capability. Feel the unconditional love that comes from your soul. Look at any resistance you may feel toward love.
My stubborn personality is called “Stubborn Suzie.” She comes out the most when I want to hold onto a position of being angry or sad about a situation. My friend could give me the biggest hug in the world, but no matter, I resist opening up to this love because I want to hold on to my emotional commitment to anger or sadness. I feel like a little girl when this happens. But the most important thing about this type of experience is that it is a gift. The resistance to open up to love is a sign that you are holding onto something, and the longer we try to escape this message, the longer it will ache and cause you emotional discomfort. When we surrender to the love of our spirit, our connection to the highest, a genuine release takes place. This is what we all deserve. Give that gift to yourself, and be ready to manifest your highest potential- whatever your dreams may be. Connect into your heart center and feel the joy and butterflies that charge when you know you’re on the brink of your created, highest destiny.
In the whole scheme of things, the only person that is really hurt by holding onto anger, is our self. We all know the old adage that when we project hurtfulness onto another, we are really hurting the projector. We are all one, and the more we shift within ourselves, the more others around us will shift, the more our perceptions will shift, and the more the Earth will shift into light.