All posts by Born to Be

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About Born to Be

What's it about? Developing perceptions that can serve a greater purpose with big love. Jessica Nojek is a writer, teacher and life coach trained by successful author and teacher Debbie Ford. Her writing, coaching and artwork are about providing support and encouragement to live a life empowered by reflection on personal self perceptions and perceptions of the world around us. Her writing is intertwined with pop culture moments including music and film that serve as communication tools to demonstrate it's OK to laugh a little at ourselves. Her series, "Owning Your Uncool" features artists telling a piece of their story that inspires us to remember we are not alone in our own personal struggles, and we all feel a little "uncool" sometimes.

Giving Ourselves to the World

Change, oneness, Perception, Self Perception

Giving Ourselves to the World
By: Jessica Burnham

In continuing our discussion on emptiness, a friend asked me a really good question regarding his work as an artist. In being an artist, he was questioning his life’s work. He asked, “Is it vain” to put all this time into creating his art? Is it me pushing my point of view onto others? I thought this was a really important question.

We are all given gifts of medium. We come into this life with our own ways of connecting with oneness. We are all given gifts to help the collective consciousness end its suffering. So is it vain to allow your soul’s gift to be used as a medium for the greater good of all? Or is it vain to not use it at all, and make your self small by hiding this aspect of God? We are all expressions of this great spiritual power- and we come into this life with a choice. How will we choose to be used?

We can interpret this in many ways. Yes, we have free will- but most of us abandon our free will in the programming of our mind. Recently, I was thinking about rebelliousness. Most of the time we react blindly to everyone around us- whether it is another driver on the road, or someone you’ve known all your life. Growing up, I myself was rebellious against the status quo, popularity. I thought to myself- I don’t want to be a part of what EVERYONE is doing, so I’ll be different. I’ll hang out with the hipsters, and choose nonconformity, as opposed to conformity. What was funny to me about this idea in my present psychology- was how ironic that choice was. Honestly, I was even more plugged into conformity by choosing consciously to be a nonconformist. I played into that hand, and was controlled by that social group because I had to use so much energy to not be like them. And, I thought I was choosing not to be controlled!

This example of choosing to be used is the opposite of choosing to be used in your faith. When we hand our life over to our deepest, sacred connection to the universe, we are giving up our control and asking the universe to take us to where we are most needed. No matter the profession, we are always working to connect to as many people as possible in some form or another. Whether it be through selling a product, or cleaning up people’s garbage- we need to have a medium of connection. An artist can contribute greatly as a medium for connecting with the world around them. Whether it be in graphic design, or working with troubled children- art can work as an expression of the divine if we allow it.

Our greatest gifts can also come from our greatest tragedies. We can choose to learn something from an experience, and take it to new levels, or we can choose to be a victim. I grew up out of my childhood into a fabulous example of co-dependency. This co-dependent mindset gave me a great opportunity to see how I was really being used unconsciously. My co-dependency fulfilled my greatest wish- it brought me to times of despair. To times where my woundedness broke me and all I could do was turn over my life to faith. That was my only choice- and it was the one that worked.

Our viewpoints will always exist because our ego will always exist. And, much of the time they will be laced in our work. But, there are healthy ways to work with our viewpoints, perceptions, and belief systems. Most of the time, we feel helpless to the world around us. It just keeps going, and we walk around going with it- whatever that direction. So why not go in ‘whatever direction’ with your soul, higher self, in conjunction with the greatest wisdom of the universe, leading the way? We are always being used- so why not choose what will use us? With the intention in hand, and our purpose that excites us- the most beautiful story can unfold before our eyes and life as we know it can become something we don’t know- yet filled with that familiar feeling that this is your authentic self. This is divinity in action.

We can be a part of the change we wish to see in the world. What is your vision of change? How can you take that vision and become a part of it rather than it stay in this safe, cushiony place outside of yourself? How safe is it to not step outside of our little cozy box and give our self to the world? How many leaders in this world that worked for great change to end human suffering were sitting at home in their ‘cozy box’? James Farmer? Gandhi?

Many people who teach others to work with spirit- whether it is angels, deities, protectors- always mention an important part of the equation: ask. Go within and ask- use your power of free will to connect with your path into oneness. It will be the greatest gift you could ever give to the world.

Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens.
Kahlil Gibran

Breadcrumbs into Awakening

Compassion, Listening, Meditation

Breadcrumbs into Awakening
By: Jessica Burnham

When I first began working from a deeper spiritual viewpoint in my life, I decided to read Eckhart Tolle’s “Power of Now.” I was on vacation at the beach, and so I had all day, every day, to sit there and really focus on being in the present moment. What I realize I was doing now, looking back, was sitting in awareness. Then, I began to meditate consciously for the first time. I was sitting on the beach, going into my meditation, and all of a sudden I was flying over the ocean with wild abandon and these huge deep raspberry colored flowers were bursting open at me. It was so beautiful, vivid. Sure, it was just as much a part of the maya as is my every day world and perceptions- but it was still such a life changing experience.

Most of our life is like this. The majority of it is suffering. But every so often we have a glimpse of awakening deeply into our metaphorical selves, all that we can become and experience- and it changes everything. Sometimes we meet people, and what seems like a short, simple conversation may change our life forever. We are offered so many window opportunities where the world shines before us in the most creative way. And hopefully we are at a place where we can say- that is what I am! This is divinity. We can call it so many things- and continue to make it some ‘thing’. But no matter what, those experiences lead us like breadcrumbs into the hall of awakening.

Little by little the seams unravel into our awakening. When things begin to unravel, they can feel like quite a shake up. Life feels like it is falling apart- and literally it is. But it is being readjusted as well, and our life becomes something new all over again. We’ve all heard the phrase, “Without change, there is no growth.” Change can be a pretty shocking experience at times. It will bring up things that we didn’t know existed- new mountains, rivers of lava that have been buried deep within our hearts for lives. But eventually it settles, and our new specs are adjusted- our sight changes, along with every one around us.

There is a conscious feeling that stimulates our movement. Like a subtle breeze on a beautiful summer day- the grass rustles and makes music, the leaves dance within the trees and change the way sunlight is captured through our looking glass. And if we are silent enough, we can feel that subtle movement as well. Its subtle vibration will stimulate new movement within. It does not always have to be an earthquake. It does not always have to be some big dramatic thing. Our hearts beat quietly within every day that we exist in this body. Yet with a stethoscope, the heart sounds like a deep drum providing music for those that feel restless. Listening is an action that takes initiative. You must choose to listen.
Listening will lead the way into remembrance.

Remembering what truly is. This is our journey. How often do you remember those life changing experiences that turn up the volume of your light ten fold? Or, how often do you remember those life changing experiences that are devastating? Why are we taught to always reflect on the ‘good times’ rather than all of it? Isn’t ‘all of it’ what truly makes life a journey? How can there be a journey without the muck that held us in place until we were able to take the gift of awareness and illuminate the experience? That precious muck is what gives us the gift of compassion. When we look around us and practice feeling compassion whenever we are in action, the world blooms into a different place. What a gift- the muck of life and its connection to the little glimpses of our deepest inner beauty. Thank you for accepting the muck as it is, and seeing beyond it through the preciously staged night lights of your deep, inner wisdom.

Navigating Our Expectations

Attachment, Compassion, holidays

Navigating Our Expectations
By Jessica Burnham

In light of the holiday season, I was thinking about the technique of navigating our lives through such a busy time, when expectations are at their highest all around. Each year, as Halloween concludes trick-or-treat fun in the US of A, everything begins in the retail world. You start to see the holiday schedules of your local communities publicized. A buzz begins to fill the air as we approach Thanksgiving. Once Santa goes by on the float in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade- “Christmas” officially begins- so they say. And with that holiday, a whole slew of other magically spiritual holidays as well. My favorite addition was St. Nicholas Day- being Polish, this always reminded me of the humility of old gift giving. As we put out our shoes the evening before, we knew we would awaken with shoes overflowing with oranges and nuts.

In an age where Christmas always represented huge gift giving, this particular tradition always gave me a remembrance of a time when plastic didn’t exist, and people gave sweet goodies grown from the natural world as a gift. An orange! Or try the great gift of limes in Little Women. Exotic!! As our society has moved on into the 21st Century, the expectations of what the holidays will provide have grown in such dramatic ways. There is the expectation of family gatherings, perhaps family dysfunction- whatever your life’s flavor has grown or evolved into- there is always something to expect. I really notice this with my soon to be step-daughter. No matter how overwhelmed I am, I notice that there is an expectation being communicated- what we need to do next, or how she can’t wait for the next traditional happening to take place.

So how does it play in our life, and what does it mean? Tradition is fun. It is also safe. There is a great scene in the movie Memphis Belle, where one of the World War II pilots is getting ready to fly on his last mission on a team for the plane, Memphis Belle. His dream is to open up a chain of hamburger restaurants, so if you travel to another city- you can still have the comfort of the same, reliable food you have back home. I loved this character’s dream. It always made me laugh, because it touches on our desire for ‘no surprises’ in our daily life.

Apparently, this trait seems to become stronger as we grow up. My Father never wants to try a new restaurant, because he is so afraid of how far he may be stretched into trying something new- which comes with the risk of it not tasting so good, or being exactly what he wants. How does this relate to the depth of the human spirit? And, can we remember to have compassion not only for ourselves, but for others, when life seems to be taking an unexpected turn? When we have an expectation, we have the challenge of seeing how our attachment to the outcome of a situation can really take us backwards.

Without the attachment to how an event will turn out- let alone an entire season- we can be free to experience new, beautiful aspects of our being. This usually begins within our own self perception. How often do we have great expectations of ourselves and how our life will turn out? How do these expectations imprison us with feelings of disappointment, hurtfulness, and entrapment? A lot of the time, when you really look at your expectations, they either come from a place of wanting to please someone else, or please your ego. But if we can go into a situation with the attitude that the present moment and all its gifts is much more powerful than what is going to happen in the future, we don’t waste so much energy on trying to control the world around us, including other people.

Can we really love ourselves even in the midst of our expectations of what we are “supposed” to be like? Can we really love others, when we imprison them with all our expectations of what a mother, father, sibling, husband or friend is supposed to be like? There are times in our life, where we will be challenged by our expectations. They come and they go in waves, depending on our openness and state of mind. I guess a big question we could ask ourselves- what kind of structure could we put into place for ourselves that would assist us in seeing when our ‘great expectations’ are holding us back, rather than propelling us forward into the deepest, spiritual beings we are capable of being- our selves. To be our self, to remember who we really are, comes from letting go of what we believe we are supposed to be, and just being present with what we are at all times.

In the greatest existential circles, we can view our selves as everyone around us. But when we are struggling, and really can’t see our oneness, conflict will certainly be there. If we can utilize our compassion for others around us and within us, we can begin to transform that struggle into something much more magical, without attachment and without expectations. Happy Holidays, and in the spirit of the season- Namaste!