Reflection | Born to Be

Knocking on Death’s Door
By: Jessica Burnham

Think not disdainfully on death, but look on it with favor, for even death is one of the things that nature wills.
Marcus Aurelius Antonius, Meditations

The notion of death can be perceived in many ways. Kali the Hindu goddess is deemed the bearer of death and destruction. Many fear the idea of death and destruction that Kali embodies, without thinking about how important it is to our life. Without death and destruction our lives would not be a mirror for our evolution at all. We would remain without growth, enlightenment- and nothing would ever end. We would be living Bill Murray’s life as the eternal weather man in the film Groundhog Day, only it probably wouldn’t be quite that funny.

The great thing about Murray’s character in that film, is that he finally gets sick of trying to die and end everything without ever growing and seeing beyond his self centeredness- and realizes that he has this great opportunity to become something worth living for and for others. Would it not be amazing if we could look at our present life as the eternal Groundhog Day? That this life will continue on after our death, only in another form, and we would still experience the same old crap that we currently experience unless we decide to take hold of this amazing gift and use it for the highest good of all sentient beings?

Grace has given many of us experiences that show us how fleeting our current life is, and the wisdom to take heed. We can choose to use this life to its maximum capacity for our growth as evolving beings, and not only change the world in which we live in- but change the world others live in as well.

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. Mahatma Gandhi
This quote by Mahatma Gandhi says it all. “Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” He certainly did, didn’t he? The thing is, we will live forever and if not in this life, or maybe in the next, we will all experience what we are meant to experience- the understanding that every moment is a moment of dying or ending. Only it is not the way our ego perceives dying. It is the end of something completed, only to give rise to the next step, phase, experience; yielding to us the present moment- a moment without attachment to anything in the past or future.

In my coaching work, we are taught to ask this question- what are you willing to risk or give up in order to accomplish your goal. I often think of this as- what are we willing to end? What pattern or addiction that we are attached to keeps us chained to our monkey mind’s demands- and does not provide opportunity for growth and evolution?

In Buddhism, they teach a lot about attachment. I was sitting on a plane returning home after visiting family for the holidays. I was reading a book about anger by Thubten Chodron, a Buddhist nun, and I looked over at my significant other wanting affection. I gave him affection- hoping for some in return and it was not granted. I felt bad inside, but didn’t say anything. Then I looked at my book and began reading again. I immediately came to a paragraph about attachment to relationships, and how they feed an expectation for affection. I laughed inside at how amazing the universe delivers these little tidbits when we need them most.

I chose to look inside myself and say- it is time for me to give up this attachment to this personal relationship, and all others. I can love without attaching my expectations and desires to this person. I made the choice for this addiction to end. And hopefully it will not carry over into the next life, if I can continue with my dedication to let go of my mind’s attachment. It is our attachment that makes death appear so daunting. If we were not attached to anything around us, then the idea of death would seem very simple- wouldn’t it? The fear of destruction would end- because change would be okay.

Think about it- this psychology- the fear of ending the fear of something ending. I know that sounds confusing at first- but it is a reality. How many of us really are afraid of ending the attachment to what fear does for us? What does your fear do for you? How does it give you the opportunity to hold onto things that you’ve outgrown? It is like having a co-dependant relationship with your inner demon. This co-dependant relationship is what creates our perceptual hell. Many people are afraid of death, because they don’t know what will happen after they die. But the truth is, we never know what will happen from moment to moment. All we can do is continue our evolution by letting go of our attachment to the fear of the unknown, what some people call death or destruction.

The Great Perception Divide
By: Jessica Burnham

In this world of soulful genius
I live to embrace my cosmic light
My light continues, fire and ice
Through the world’s gaze into my eyes
I see willfulness and constant denial
Yet I love them both just the same
Because all I see is me, all I see is God
Twinkling, Enraged, moving into awareness.

While talking about his connection with other people’s view points or perceptions, Eckhart Tolle said in an interview recently “There is nothing I can add to it by interpreting it.” He mentioned that this also included judging or labeling what he was hearing or seeing. He described it as being ‘not identified with thought.” I’ve spent a lot of time lately dwelling in this point, meditating on it and bringing it to my own constant awareness. I have found it to be quite prophetic in such a subtle way.

If we really think about it, most of our conversations with people include our constant interpretation through our own filter, of what they are saying. One person says, I feel this way, and then we respond about how we feel about it based on our own experience. We have perceptions communicating with perceptions most of the time. I am learning through my coaching work with Debbie Ford that we are part of a program that we have developed through our past emotional experiences, and this program keeps running over and over again through our minds until we finally understand- I no longer have to be controlled by this program any longer by the grace of spirit. This program will continue to exist, and I cannot delete it, but I can become aware of the way I allow it to control me and where it happens in my life, over and over again.

What would life be like if we were not ‘identified’ by thought? What would life be like if we were not identified with anything- just simply an observer giving what we could to this world as part of its oneness? Knowing regularly that everything we give to ourselves is also given to all? This includes negative feedback that we give ourselves, not just the love! Every time we judge ourselves or feel shameful about ourselves we are also doing the same to everyone unconsciously. Because of this, the mirror will show up, it has an appointment and you made it through your action of feeling like you are not good enough, or shameful, or ridiculous- insert your own word here. When you feel a certain way about yourself, it’s going to show up- and usually you won’t like it. And who would??

As I mentioned earlier, I’ve been working with Debbie Ford in a coaching program. I recently participated in an intensive weekend where we covered this work on an amazing level. In the deep, provocative process I and many other people were participating in, we explored our inner world through many exercises guided by Debbie to reflect on this point regarding the collective consciousness. I think the culmination of everything came down to these points for me: Compassion yields the experience of one. That the world alone, broken down, actually says ‘al-one’. And, the only love we really need to know is the love of all that we are, because there is nothing else.

Developing compassion usually comes from our own experiences or reflection. Compassion is defined as: “deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it” on Answers.com. Awareness of a kind of suffering usually comes from going within and saying to ours selves, where or when have I ever felt that way in my life or been in that situation so I can relate and feel love for their predicament? Many just skip that process and automatically go into their perceptions or judgments. Living a constant state of compassion can prove to be difficult when we are enveloped in the stuff of our wounded ego or story- which we usually are, as I am learning about myself! But developing compassion can prove to be an amazing way to develop forgiveness for the past with someone, and open you up to new levels of awareness.

Our points of view will always exist. They are a part of the minds way of reasoning with the world around it and relating. But what is ironic, is the mind usually uses its points of view to separate us from one another, not to bring an understanding of how we are one with each other. In finding the humility that exists in the human experience, I am finally being led into understanding that what is most important in this life is being able to listen and love completely the beautiful spirits that constantly come into our lives- even for just a moment. And in this appreciation, I can sit in awareness and see the real beauty and diversity of what it is to be a part of this vast spirit we have so many words for in so many languages. I challenge everyone to try and just sit and listen. Candice O’Denver describes this process as watching other’s view points (as well as your own) float by you like the clouds in the sky. Because that is all they are.

Let’s heal this great divide we call separation, and see how much we are really alike- instead of how much we are really different. Because the love I feel when I look into your eyes is truly my present freedom. And I honor you for sitting here and listening to my point of view. Namaste.