Fear | Born to Be

Recommended Reading Soundtrack: Let Your Love Grow Tall by Passion Pit on Manners

It was a Saturday night at a popular karaoke bar, and I found myself getting geared up with the great abundance of songs offered by the designated “karaoke professionals.” Is that a real title? I couldn’t help myself- I actually went on stage and sang a specially chosen song from the Disney film, The Little Mermaid. And even though I totally put everyone to sleep with my mediocre interpretation, I had fun fulfilling several years’ worth of karaoke fantasies.

What am I trying to communicate here, you may ask? Well, keep reading.

The film Shallow Hal – pretty silly and not too complicated in its message. But simplicity aside, I actually took away something meaningful from the film which included Gwyneth Paltrow, who typically appears in waif like form, dressed up to be an obese woman.

In an interview that took place with Paltrow after the film was released, she talked about how she kept the fat suit on one day to see what it felt like to be an obese person in life. One of the things that she noticed was how people were afraid to make eye contact with her. And that experience yielded a feeling of loneliness and an understanding of how isolating it is to be extremely overweight in our modern culture. The world around us is pretty ego based, and the “judgment thing” can definitely make us feel alone or give cause to isolate ourselves so we don’t have to experience it from others.

Judgment, stigma- whatever it is that we fear, let’s face it. Somewhere in our lives we have given our power away to it and allowed that fear to hold us back from either doing what we love, are passionate about, or shield ourselves from experiencing our destiny- joy. But, there is this line in a U2 song that stood out recently during a monotonous drive home in rush hour traffic even though I’ve probably heard it a thousand times. The lyric is from the song Elevation, and it goes like this:

Can’t sing, but I’ve got soul.
The goal is Elevation.

With that line, flashbacks of embarrassing and exhilarating karaoke streamed through my mind. And there I was again, singing a song from The Little Mermaid on a Saturday night to a buzzed crowd that was waiting for something a little more “dance” inspiring. And so it goes, I can’t sing- but I’ve got soul, baby. In my head, Damon Albarn from Blur was next to me on stage in concert in Japan yelling, “Karaoke! Karaoke!” (Obscure live concert reference alert, I apologize!)

Acknowledging that you’ve got soul, baby!

It may seem like a little thing. The way we make choices based on what others will “think.” But truthfully there is no such thing as a “little thing.” All experiences are relevant to both our heart and our mind. Consciously connecting that mind with the heart requires a frank complexity in our self-created world of modern love. Acknowledging that you’ve got soul is an important step in reaching that goal. So, where have you shut out soul in your life in places that you have it?

Soul reaches beyond the technical. It is about heart. It is personified in our experiences with one another as we navigate a world of opportunity guaranteed to also spark fear. It’s worth it, to acknowledge the fear but not let it dictate your choices. You never know where you will end up.

In the famous words of Jimmy Rabbitte in the awesome (and sometimes inappropriate- excuse the bad language below, please!) film The Commitments about a group of talented Dubliners, AKA “The Blacks of Ireland,” come together to show that they’ve got soul-

“Soul is the music people understand. Sure it’s basic and it’s simple. But it’s something else ’cause, ’cause, ’cause it’s honest, that’s it. It’s honest. There’s no f*%$^#& bulls$%#. It sticks its neck out and says it straight from the heart. Sure there’s a lot of different music you can get off on but soul is more than that. It takes you somewhere else. It grabs you by the balls and lifts you above the shite.”

Ladies & Gents, Let’s Rock Big Love with some super soul! (I know you’re hiding some in there, somewhere)

Recommended Reading Soundtrack: Every Teardrop Is a Waterfall by Coldplay

And if you feel just like a tourist in the city you were born
Then it’s time to go
And define your destination

Death Cab for Cutie, You are a Tourist

Making choices in our lives about the BIG things- our jobs, relationships, who am I going to be when I wake up in the morning (ha!)- making these choices is not a simple task. As a human, there is always fear to contend with when it comes to those “big” things. It permeates everything around us, like a perfume that has lost its luster and just stinks up the joint by making something that already doesn’t smell so good, something worse.

As I was driving through the vast expanse of New Mexico recently and getting lost in my own heart’s great expanse, I was listening to Death Cab for Cutie singing their rock’n song, “You are a Tourist.” I sang along with their metaphorical lyrics,

“And if you feel just like a tourist in the city you were born,
Then it’s time to go.”

I thought to myself, “Sure, it’s easy to say that, but to implement big change like that in our lives takes courage and faith in what our heart is telling us.” Following through with those feelings and making changes in our lives does not come without risks and what I would call “mental torture.”

But the thing is, compromising who we are for the sake of not wanting to deal with the “big unknown” just perpetuates our limiting belief systems about ourselves and life’s possibilities. It all comes back to the “great unknown” but there is nothing we can do about the unknown. It is what it is. And, it is easy to get caught in a vicious cycle of judging ourselves for taking that risk because we are programmed to not take the risks that usually increase our personal growth potential exponentially.

I can say this, I’ve never met a person who regretted making the decision to believe in their life’s potential as something greater. When I was driving across the great unknown from Washington DC with my Dad, I was a little scared. I had just quit my job for something “unknown.” I was moving in with 2 new roommates that I really didn’t know. And, I was moving to a state thousands of miles away from my family and friends where I also “didn’t know” anyone. A state that many American citizens still think is a foreign country (I am not kidding!).

My Dad said to me on our cross country journey (the same Dad that doesn’t even like to leave his house and hadn’t been on an airplane since I was born- 30 years prior), “How do you know everything is going to be okay?” All I could say was, “I just know.” Sometimes, it pays to simply open that suitcase of fears we carry around with us every day, and contemplate the origin of our limiting belief systems. Because in all of our ends, our integrity and truth will never lead us astray.

A “Garden State” Moment

Tomorrow is not going to wait for us to make up our mind. No, I’m not going to quote a cheesy pop song by Roxette (still, Listen to Your Heart!). But, if you ever feel a new world burgeoning within you, just think about that moment when Andrew in the film Garden State was handed some music by Albuquerque’s The Shins. And his new friend Sam said, “You’ve got to hear this one song, it will change your life, I swear.” Although a moment like this appears to be outside of us, it is occurring within ourselves. And it is a profound, and motivating experience to behold. This moment, if you run with it, will definitely change your perception not only about yourself and what you are capable of, but will also change your perception about the world around you. Prepare to be launched into the great unknown, only to find what you’ve known all along but were afraid to admit. You are a rock star!

One. Two. Three- GO!