Okay, inspiration comes in many forms. We just need to trust it when it comes, and feel with our heart what we are feeling with an intention of deep listening. What do these feelings want to say? What is this moment revealing for me in the hidden spaces of my heart? Life moves so fast, we forget about those amazing moments where something in us is pushing the envelope of what we “think” we’re supposed to be doing or where we think we’re going in our life.
I just saw this mini documentary on the Postal Service’s tour made by the “Creators Project.” In the beginning they were doing interviews with people outside a venue and someone made a comment that almost passed me by, but fortunately I was actually hearing him. They said how listening to the songs on this tour of their one and only album brought him back to the memories of that time in his life, his “angsty” high school years. He said that some of them were good, and some of them were bad (you could tell it was difficult to experience just by the tone of his voice). As I kept watching and feeling the music, I started experiencing the same thing that this post-angsty dude was talking about!
I fought my tears as I started thinking about when I discovered the Postal Service. It was 2005 and I was going through a major transition in my life. Thinking about moving out west from the only place I really knew, my home, which coincidentally was Washington DC. As I began to process my desire to move, I went through this amazing time in my life where I really discovered myself by being alone after so many years of co-dependency. I began to fall in love myself and what it was to just “be”. I enjoyed every moment I had in those quiet places of my heart.
The album contributed to a major change in my self-perception. Every day I would run and run around this middle school track near my house. Rain or shine- I was out there, feeling the air, listening to the same Postal Service album, listening to my breath change with the moving minutes. I moved to New Mexico, still listening to that same album, adjusting to a new reality where the only thing my mind had was me. I remember during my cross-country drive with my Dad he said to me he couldn’t believe I was doing it, and asked me if I was scared. This was a big deal for my Dad- if you knew him, you’d understand. He didn’t grow up in a household where people talked about their feelings. He also does not like change, and this was BIG change for his daughter, his first child, and for him.
I said I just knew that this was right, and that everything was going to work out. I will never forget his response. He said he wished he could be like me, and be that sure about something so big. I will always be grateful to the Postal Service for that album, and the change it inspired in me as it helped me to learn how to love myself and trust change. And, I will always have that memory of my Father that I will cherish and remember whenever I feel like I just don’t know.
The documentary ended with the song, Some Idealistic Future, where they sang with the audience those words that inspired so much for me, “Everything will change…ooo…ooooo”. Yes, everything has changed, thank goodness!