I know I have my opinions about music, but there is one thing about pop music in the present moment that drives me batty- the lyrics. And how fitting, to see this recent “Taylor Swift feminist doppledanger” created by Clara Beyer, a rising senior at Brown University, in the news creating more empowering lyrics for Swift’s music! After living much of my life in a co-dependent fog I can’t help but notice how often lyrics are very reflective of a co-dependent state of mind, feeding a monster within our society that says “I need you” under the guise of love. Between the neediness and the victim mentality I seem to find myself plugging in my mp3 player almost immediately upon entering my vehicle or being that really annoying person that keeps changing stations with the hope that something listenable will magically start playing.
The ignorant mind thrives on lyrics like “This is the part of me, That you’re never gonna ever take away from me” from Katy Perry in her song Part of Me. I mean, no one can ever take a part of you away without your general consent- hence the continuous victim droning that plays over and over again on the radio. Most of the listeners of Katy Perry are young girls that are buying into this fake sort of empowerment, rather than learning that relationships are not about compromising your integrity to have someone in your life.
In reflecting, it is difficult for me to know that other girls really believe this stuff and continue to act it out because I used to do the same thing, and it caused me a lot of suffering. Not everyone has the tools to walk out of the fog of these types of limiting perceptions, and they continue to teach them to their own children, hence the cycle continues. My meditation teacher taught me that the greatest way to help the world was to meditate on my own inner peace. I am so grateful every day for what he taught me, and will continue to work to help all by working on the healing of my very own heart.
There is this great scene in Sex in the City, the first film, where Carrie is reading Cinderella to her goddaughter and she pauses at the end to make sure the little one understands that life does not always turn out that way. The little girl naively shouts for her to read it again. Carrie ends the scene with “Another one bites the dust.” It’s funny, because it is true.
Lessons learned out of my pop song dilemma:
- Perceptions that thrive on “me versus you” are rooted in the ignorant mind.
- I am accountable for me and how I perceive the world- no one else.
- I always have a choice to either accept someone else’s feelings or indulge in being a victim of their feelings.
- My self-perceptions will always reflect in the way a relationship is unfolding- the more I shift my self-perceptions into purposeful perceptions, the more my relationships will reflect these perceptions rooted in empowerment and joy.