Category Archives: Mind

Sometimes We Need a Little Groot & Soulshine

Acceptance, Ego, Empowerment, Mind, Self Perception, , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Recommended Reading Soundtrack: Soulshine by Warren Haynes (Acoustic)

I wish I could start every blog post I write with the tag phrase from the movie trailer guy, “In a world…” with the same deliberate curiosity and poignancy. I’d call it the “In a World Series” and end the sentence with the post’s topic. If I were going to do that today, I’d say, “IN A WORLD where Jessica feels overwhelmed by her own mind that just won’t shut up, there came a time where nothing would do- except- finding a way to tell her inner voice’s rants to SHUT UP!”

great comic from happyguide.co
great comic from happyguide.co

But, no matter how much I wish I could shut off that mental valve, it would be impossible. So I shall just have to co-exist for this moment, and accept my teenager inner voice that feels the perceived “injustice” of everything happening around me. And, “In a PERFECT World” ending, my acceptance would span beyond my annoying inner voice into my grievances with myself. Because really, that’s where all my grievances with my world’s injustices come from. Yes, really. Right back to my own achy breaky heart.

“The wretch, concentered all in self,” Sir Walter Scott

But, the nice thing about all of this is one special word, accountability. When I own my grievances and link them with my choices that brought me face to face with each and every situation I encounter, I feel a sense of empowerment and freedom. Yes, sometimes I feel like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day when he’s giving up on trying to understand why he continues to wake up to the same thing every day, and as he sits in that animated small town diner with the same people for the millionth time (I am full of hyperbole today) he just starts eating complete crap and talks the way he really wants to talk to “Rita” about life with exuding pessimism and sarcasm. And, Bill Murray sarcasm is hard to beat, especially when he is simultaneously shoving an entire piece of angel food cake into his mouth, smoking a cigarette and pouring coffee into his mouth directly from the pitcher in the early morning hours!

gold-fireflies-2[2]

And let’s face it- much like Groundhog Day, we all wake up to the same thing regularly. A rerun of so many conversations, arguments, thoughts- just in differently appearing contexts. Sometimes, when you find yourself dragging like that you just need to turn on a little soulshine. Warren Haynes has taught me a little something with his special song this week, along with one of the coolest Guardians of the Galaxy, Groot. Just saying his name makes me laugh inside, laugh outside, and want to groove to O-o-h Child by The Five Stairsteps. And on a side confession-  I never knew who actually sang that song until this blog post- but I’ve probably heard that song a million times. Probably (envision Johnny Dangerously here with “Once”).

You are a beautiful firefly

Those that haven’t seen Guardians of the Galaxy yet, spoiler alert. When Groot, the tree-like being from Planet X, surrounds his friends with his entire body to protect them from a crashing death and fills their bubble with beautiful fire-fly-like lights glowing around their hopeless faces, saying for the first time “We are Groot” instead of “I am Groot,” I found myself in joyful tears.

I was sad. But I also felt so much joy because I was witnessing such a beautifully written seen about complete oneness in a funny, misunderstood tree creature. Yes, it is just a movie about superheroes and villains in a galaxy far, far away- but those superheroes and villains were created by people that believe in our heart’s ability to love and witness one another with the greatest of empathy.   So while we may feel uncool in our funky minds at times, remember that this vulnerability creates a little place holding a reminder of how cool life truly is…..and when you see someone’s soul shining, you can remember to own and love your own shining soul.

Just remember the words that Warren Hayes has given us in his delightful, rock’n song-

When you can’t find the light
That got you through the cloudy days
When the stars ain’t shinin’ bright
It feels like you’ve lost your way
When the candle lights of home
Burn so very far away
Oh, you got to let your soul shine
Just like my daddy used to say

Let’s Rock Big Love! (that’s me, I’m not as “cool” as Mr. Hayes!)

Owning My Uncool Is Not a Bad Thing

Empowerment, Mind, Perception, Self Perception, , , , , , , , , , ,

Recommended Listening Soundtrack: Cool Rock Boy by Juliana Hatfield

Who has found themselves laughing while watching the opening scene of one of the greatest satirical films ever made- (at least if you live in the US and have my mind) Office Space, while the dreaded commute to work is taking place and the ever so high-strung and very white character named “Michael Bolton” is ironically rapping away in his sedan? And then, as he sees a black man selling flowers on the street he actually shrinks into his seat, locks his car door, and turns down the music; only to turn it up again once he gains distance from the flower peddler. All you can do is LAUGH out loud at his absurdity. This is what I call a low point- a moment of strangely misplaced fear yielding the ultimate “uncool” goo, yet ever so funny for the audience.

officespace_motivation

Why is it so funny? Good question. I recently had my own experience of oozing “uncool” goo that might shed some light on the subject. As you might have noticed, it is summer in the Northern Hemisphere. Yes, sticky sweet summer is here, and with it comes sticky sweet pop songs made to lure us in with their simple jangles about new love and ultimate love disasters.

And then, there was me. Driving home myself one early evening doing my typical dance with the radio. Changing the stations over and over again with high hopes that maybe it would deliver something cool. Suddenly I found myself drawn into one of this summer’s truly sticky sweet pop songs by Justin Timberlake titled “Not a Bad Thing.” I actually had it turned up (and it was not freedom rock), singing along in a trance induced by subtle brainwashing when I realized I had to stop at a light. Of course, there were 2 younger people on the corner. I found myself turning the music down to a nice quiet mute.

Yes, I found myself too ashamed to allow these unsuspecting “youths” know my dirty little secret. That I sometimes like cheesy pop music and even listen to it at elevated volume levels as I drive. Now, I am going to own my uncool and face my shame with you! I can’t help but laugh out loud at my own antics with drive-by music that is ironically titled “Not a Bad Thing.” But really, this whole musical shame episode is not really about music- it is about my own judgments and insecurities, and how I project them onto others.

Time to own my uncool.

Now, let’s face the music. As I have been laughing at myself for what I did, I have been thinking about why I can’t just enjoy music of any kind and not feel embarrassed for enjoying a certain pop song. I have to admit, there is a part of me that does not respect a lot of what the pop industry generates, but yet there is an internal battle I have difficulty ignoring. So how can I turn this perception about the pop industry into something with meaningful purpose, empty of my attachment to judgments?

We can relate this pop song dilemma to all aspects of our life. That is the magic of a perception conundrum. Without the attachment of our emotional drama, a perception is just a perception- and it can be rooted in negativity or positivity. But either way, they exist because we are humans having an ego experience. By focusing on our intention behind a perception we can see if it is limiting or not so limiting. My perceptions around the pop music industry are limiting because I limit my joy in life by judging myself for simply having fun with a song, even if it is sticky sweet.

How can I challenge myself to confront my judgment? The next time that Justin Timberlake song is playing on the airwaves, I’m going to turn it up, with my windows down and be that singing-out-loud person without a care for judgments, including my own! Maybe it really is “not a bad thing” to just let it go and have a little fun every once in a while!

A World of Objectification? Maybe.

Carl Jung, Compassion, DPChallenge, Ego, Life Coach, Media, Mind, Perception, , , , , , , , , , ,

“In the New Media culture, anything good you do is tossed in a pit, and you are measured by who you are on your worst day.  What’s the Boy Scout code? Trustworthy. Loyal. Helpful. Friendly. Courteous. Kind. Obedient. Cheerful. Thrifty. Brave. Clean. Reverent. I might be all of those things, at certain moments. But people suspect that whatever good you do, you are faking. You’re that guy.”  Alec Baldwin

You have to love it when someone has just had enough, and instead of sitting on the sidelines, they helplessly try to make their peace with their antagonist.  Especially when it surfaces as a public rant.  The rebellious part of me roots them on, but there is the other part of me that feels sad they were brought to the point of insane expressionism.  One minute you can be feeling light and airy like a painting by Monet, the next minute you feel like you’re being devoured by Saturn in one of Goya’s “Black Paintings.”

We’ve all been there- especially at the end of a relationship that has gone totally downhill.  After long periods of distress with anyone, you reach your breaking point.  It is how you handle those breaking points that can create a defining moment in your life.  You might find yourself hurling a spoon of mashed potatoes at your brother’s face like Kevin in the Wonder Years during a family dinner (insert laughter here!).  Or you might be like Alec Baldwin earlier this week, writing an angry manifesto to the world of media saying “goodbye to the public life”.

Projecting Our Positives and Negatives

human_shadowYes, guilty as charged- I read it.  And, I have to admit, I feel compassion for him.  People who live in the public eye, whether they are “celebrities” or “politicians”, have drawn a tough lot in many ways.  Everything they say or do is scrutinized, judged.  The person that once existed in that shell of a body eventually becomes objectified by a media that has become a constant feeding source for the ego.  They aren’t human beings anymore to the public that reads these stories or checks out their picture in People magazine.  They become a story, an image to laugh at, an image to aspire to- but the human being, the world unto itself, slowly disappears in the words that try to paint a picture about them.  The rabble will project their light and darkness on them and make them become what they want in that moment.  It’s like an energy vampire feeding time.

Remembering Compassion, Remembering We Are Not Objects

compassion-sunday-begins-with-youIn conjunction with this, I recently saw the film about one of our world’s most objectified women- Diana with Naomi Watts, directed by Oliver Hirschbiegel.  I knew nothing about this film, and saw it on Amazon one night, wondering what the heck it was and its take on her life.  To say the least, it was very well done.  The film showed how difficult the life of Princess Diana became towards the end due to the media, eventually leading to her tragic death.  She developed all of these strategies to get to places without the media’s knowledge, just to do something that we would see as mundane.  Getting a hamburger for her was like obtaining a visa to visit Azerbaijan.

Towards the end of the film, before her fatal car crash, she attempted to eat a meal at her hotel’s restaurant, when a camera flashes from another diner.  She had absolutely no privacy and you could see in Naomi Watts’ performance a shell of a person that had lost the love of her life because she couldn’t avoid the media’s attention.

Alec Baldwin stated in his letter that, “In the New Media culture, anything good you do is tossed in a pit, and you are measured by who you are on your worst day.”  I find this statement fascinating, because it is true that we appear to another as they choose to perceive us.  Yes, we all have “bad” days.  And, yes- we all have “good” days.  That’s because we are all of it- both good and bad.  We never know what a person is going through, how their world may be falling apart or coming together.  Knowing this, it may help us to be more compassionate beings and remember when you do see someone falling apart- that could be me.

Visualize This- Untying the Roots of Perception

Acceptance, Attachment, Awareness, Ego, Empowerment, Love, Mind, Perception, Self Perception, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Sometimes this picture is the perfect physical expression of how I feel inside.  When I look at this picture right now, I see a beautiful Buddha.  A representation of the creative, divine nature of my being slowly emerging from the lanky, strong root system of an ancient tree obscuring my truth and happiness at this very moment.  That’s right folks, I said it- an ancient tree rooted into the ground with all its might.  Such are my old perceptions and belief systems that give rise to this feeling of helplessness and a desire to run like Forrest Gump from the fire I have created (2 Tom Hanks’ references in once sentence- yes!).  Here I am, wrapped up in feelings that must be connected to a place where my ignorant mind dwells searching for an identity that doesn’t exist like a child playing a game.

I am face to face literally with this part of my existence that is grasping in the form of attachment to some perception of who I am supposed to be- yes this is really how I feel!  This perception is the root I see in this beautiful picture, linked to a feeling of massive overwhelm.  At times I simply wonder why life can feel like this grueling process of emergence when it has the potential to be so simple and easy.  How do we move these roots of obscuration out of way? I hear myself singing the same old song of expectations on how I am “supposed” to be feeling.

It’s Process Time!

When you look at this picture, what do you perceive at this moment?  Start with your feelings and ask yourself-

“What moment, person, or expectation do these feelings link to in my ignorant mind?”

Then breathe in the awareness you have shined into your heart.

Feel how simple it is to love yourself, no matter what you see in the world around you.

Ask to see any barriers you might be imagining between you and your greatest desires and imagine them easily dissolving in this love.

There is an excerpt from a poem by Anne Hillman in the book “365 Prayers, Blessings, and Affirmations to Celebrate the Human Journey” by Elizabeth Roberts and Elias Amidon that I’d like to share as it relates-

As we experience and accept
All that we really are…
We grow in care.
We begin to embrace others
As ourselves, and learn to live
As one among many…

Let’s Rock Big Love together everyone, we’re all we truly have on this human journey.

Visualize This- Turning Yourself Inside Out

Awareness, Compassion, Mind, Perception, Self Perception, , , , , , , , , , , ,

Each person we meet contains a part of our wholeness.  If you look at a picture of the earth from space- how do you perceive it?  It is luminescent, blue, white, brown- a glowing ball in the middle of space.  From afar you can’t tell that it literally contains everything we experience in our physical world every day- streets, cars, mountains, people, houses, trees, oceans, rivers, little flowers.  Yet every one of these things is a part of the earth’s wholeness.

In thinking about this picture of the earth from the viewpoint of outer space- look at others around you.  Think about your own existence.

How is each person in your life like the earth in this picture?

How much is contained and experienced in their life, that makes them who they are, that you simply can’t see with your naked eye?

Now look within.  Look at your own life and how much you have going on in it.  Everything you see and feel, they experience in their own heart and mind.  We are all a microcosm of the macrocosm.  Our perceptions are fragile, they are not who we are nor are they who the other person is…they serve as tools to navigate and learn.  The foundation of your being exists in what you can’t see from the outside, it is what you see from the inside- always affecting the whole.

“LET’S ROCK BIG LOVE!”™ Jessica
A celebration of our desire to love ourselves Big!

 

Facebook (What is it good for?)- Weekly Writing Challenge

Attachment, Buddhism, Ego, Empowerment, Forgiveness, Mind, Perception, Self Perception, , , , , , , , , , , ,

Interchanging the word “Facebook” with the word “War” in the personally preferred Edwin Starr version of the hit Motown classic for my title has been a fun exercise for the day!  I have to thank the Weekly Writing Challenge for instigating this little musical  intrigue in my easily distracted mind.  Now down to business.

I once sat in a teaching by a Tibetan Buddhist nun that compared Facebook to the ultimate ego indulgence.  A place where egos run rampant with their over identification with self.  Where attachment to an “identity” grows stronger with every random post about what so and so ate for dinner or how annoying that guy was for cutting so and so off in traffic.   If I had to pinpoint the one thing that I learned from teaching people how to empower themselves it is that we have a choice in how we treat ourselves, others, and even in our use of a social media tool whether its Facebook, Twitter, or the next big thing.

I didn’t even use Facebook until around 2008, and I am even “of” that generation.  I resisted it until I could find a way to make it work in a meaningful way for me.  When I was training to be a life coach it was important to do your own personal work so you could help others authentically.  A big exercise we did was inventory our “incompletes” and make them “complete.”

This is where you interject, “What the heck is she talking about?”

Thank you for asking!

Incompletes- those little energy suckers (or BIG) that sit in the periphery of your mind, loaded up like a Twinkie with emotions such as guilt, shame.  The emotions never expire much like a Twinkie and its filling- and they clog up your life, unknowingly, like a backed up airplane runway.  You want to take off but “hello!” Traffic strikes again.

That’s when I met Facebook.  There were so many people in my life that I wanted to apologize to, make amends, let them know, “I am grateful for how you showed up in my life,” but couldn’t because how could I find them?  I got on Facebook and like an illuminated sky on a crisp spring morning I cleared my runway of all those stuck airplanes that were weighing me down.  So the question remains- is Facebook the “scourge” of the internet?

HappyBdayResized

There have been lots of posts about how everything is a choice, even Facebook (including mine).  So guess what?  For me it all comes down to perception!  I literally made Facebook “purposeful” and chose to engage with it in a positive, meaningful way where I could heal some old self-inflicted wounds and enrich my life.  And boy did it help me breathe.  To that note, I’d like to sing a rousing “Happy Birthday” and give my gratitude for the lightness I feel in my heart today due to this rocking scourge of the internet.  Perception is a shaky topic because people stand by them like they are a part of their body.  But when I can acknowledge and own the power it plays from the ignorant mind to the purposeful mind, I can determine its role in my life rather than allow “it” to determine me.

In the perfect words of Clark Griswold, “Alleluia!  Where’s the Tylenol?!”  Thanks Mr. Griswold for that perfect ending.

Let’s Rock Big Love!