Tag Archives: Compassion

Rusted Root Redux: The Real Deal On Change, Compassion & Acceptance

Forgiveness, Life Coach, Owning Your Uncool: The Series, , , , , , , , , ,

A Story of Big Love & Uncool.

Recommended Listening Soundtrack:  Send Me On My Way, Rusted Root (Of Course!)

groundhog2Based on the title of this blog post, you might think you are in an episode of Ground Hog Day.  And much like Bill Murray reaches a point of ultimate frustration and desperation, driving off a cliff with the groundhog in his lap, I am about to metaphorically do the same thing here, with you!

Recently, when I learned that the band Rusted Root was coming to the “big” ABQ, New Mexico, I felt immediate excitement at the prospect of getting an interview with them for my “Owning Your Uncool” Series.  It was kismet, the universe aligning around passion, creativity and a common goal!

As I went through the process of putting the pieces together, I still felt myself mesmerized that “it was happening!” Just like that moment in Crowe’s Almost Famous when Kate Hudson’s character gives William Miller this simultaneous mischievous and magical look when they realize they’re going on tour with up and coming rock band Stillwater, I realized, “It was happening!”

It Really Happened, Alright.

When I went to publish my original post I found myself a little wary over the answers I’d received.  But an old voice came back to haunt me from the deep recesses of my grungy heart.  The answers weren’t matching exactly what I “thought” I had asked but the old voice knocking on my door was one of self doubt.  And self doubt is like a personally imposed curse that leads us down a road of pain, regret and even more self doubt- the irony!  It is with this post that I now have the opportunity to not only share with you Rusted Root’s amazing thoughts on life’s struggles and owning their uncool, I also have the lovely experience of owning my own uncool.

Yes, I mistakenly published incorrect answers to my interview with Rusted Root.  And yes, I feel totally uncool.  But what have I learned?  All I can do is forgive myself and my ignorance, and remember in the future to always follow my gut and to not fear the appearance of stupid showing up on my doorstep again.  Thank you, Rusted Root!

The Real Deal.

RR DEC 2014 BAND SHOT 2
Rusted Root sharing their “Movement” with the world uncensored!

Rusted Root is a band that embodies the spirit of Big Love, and with that said, I am honored to present to you the “Real” Rusted Root.  Here are some very personal and beautiful answers from band front man Michael Glabicki that come out of their “Movement,” a genuine conversation through their music about the devotion and intention of our actions as a collective community “to all that is love, healing and pragmatic.”

As musical artists working to express clear intentions around your “movement”, how have your struggles in life brought you to the place that you are now in your craft and in connecting with your community?

Struggles…..yes there have been many and rarely without. All you can say is thank you for the opportunity to grow and expand in  our individual and communal expression. Reality is good and exists to teach us what we need to actually live the dream. The dream of being a musician and creating a communal type of expression was mine from the start. If we could play meaningful music in every neighborhood and on every street the world would be a drastically different place. There would be more compassion and acceptance of one another. There are many forces against this idea. That is the main struggle. When starting out there was an opening on the planet for unique and deep music. Somehow we were able to slip in to the consciousness fairly easy. Soon after that  there was a closing of that doorway and a shutdown of expression. Things got a lot harder. Things continue to be a bit more superficial but I feel more excited and focused on what we can do to create a change. Those struggles have gotten me to a place where I can create a profound magic out of any situation now. So all I can say is thank you and let’s get going! There is now a fearless space easily achieved in the songwriting, arranging, and performance.  This allows us to be open in the moment to what is the most healing. It seems the most selfish surface music nowadays is the most planned out. They put upon the audience their mental idea of what  makes them look superior and it’s so lacking real magic. We open to the crowds energy and create with them in the moment bringing about a communal experience. I am constantly surprised on stage what comes out of us because of this- it is always different, alive, and connected.

If there was one big moment growing up that you could pinpoint as a major contributor to your life’s inner struggles and empowerment to continue doing what you love- what would that moment be?

I was 2&1/2 years old and I got ran over by a car. It was bad enough where I could have chosen to leave the world. I remember conversing with a spirit/ angel and afterwards deciding to come back. I remember understanding a lot more of my purpose after that and feeling love and support from spirit moving forward. It probably gave me my sense of humor and lightness about life. After that I would have dreams of fighting these evil human skull birds on the beach. They would surround me and the only way I could get out of it would be to get calm and find a humorous way to scare them off. Up to that point it was terrifying. It was very shamanistic. It really helped me define my role in a profound way. Actually I don’t feel that different now on stage.

Can you tell my readers about a time in your life, where you felt that same “uncool” and isolation inside as the teenage character in the film Almost Famous, and how you used that moment to propel yourself forward in your life?

I have always felt outside the norm. Literally as long as I can remember. My memories in the womb were probably plagued with feeling like an outsider.

I remember my parents thinking that there may be some mental issues with me. I think I was so in tune with energy and spirit that I wasn’t always seemingly here. They got some tests done in me. That made me feel inadequate. I think later in life playing music validated and communicated that spiritual world and made me feel that I had a purpose in this world.

How did you view yourself then, and how do you view yourself now?

Back then I was a bit more depressed and felt very hopeless. I felt like a freak. I felt afraid that everyone knew what I was feeling and was thinking the same thing. Honestly now I still have those feelings every once in a while. I don’t view myself in that way though. Now I feel different but extremely connected to everyone. I feel I have a very important role in the world. I feel that my differences are my power. I feel able to verbalize my experience. I feel that I have grown into an expert of my own experience and no one is more important. The best part is I feel I can really help others.

How do you view others and the world now, as a result of that moment in your life?

I view us all as children here to learn. Some people embrace this and some fight it. I think most people feel isolated so it’s all about creating oneness and respecting everyone’s individuality.

True Authenticity, a Band Called Rusted Root.

With all my heart, I honestly could not have asked for more authentic and inspiring answers for this piece.  I do these posts in an effort to remind not only myself, but all of you out there reading this, that we all have struggles.  There is not one person on this planet that does not feel insecure at times and lost within themselves.

But if we can just remember as Glabicki shared, “some people embrace thi and some fight it.”  With this post, I could not fight my own feelings about my mistake.  But I had to just own them and share them with you because if I can’t be real with myself and you, then all of this has no meaning.  I am grateful for this opportunity to share with you Rusted Root, and I hope you will share this with the world just the same.

If you’re in ABQ tonight, don’t miss the Heights Summerfest, Rusted Root will be playing their hearts out, as they always do.

Let’s Rock Big Love!

 

If you want to sing out, sing out! Just do it.

Compassion, Perception, , , , , , , , , , ,

Recommended Reading Soundtrack:  Whatever it is by Ben Lee

As I was perusing the world of Facebook this morning I noticed video post from a recent Ellen DeGeneres interview with the ever so diverse and hilarious actress Melissa McCarthy (Think sink and Bridesmaids? I’m already laughing!). Well, the interview took place on May 20th, so I guess that is considered pretty far behind in the world of media- but I’m just not one of those people that is always quick on the uptake with “talk show gossip”. (Insert smiley face here, if you get my meaning.)

I couldn’t resist taking a look at it. What piqued my interest was the topic and how McCarthy presented the discussion with a harsh critic. The journalist had written a review of a 2014 film that starred McCarthy last year. The film had received a lot of “challenging” attention. This particular journalist was very hard on McCarthy- and it wasn’t for the integrity of her performance. It was for her appearance.

walking in someone else's shoesMcCarthy was affected by the critique, but instead of being rude and critical to the journalist when she was given this unique opportunity, she savored this golden apple with a little talk about perception. She turned the conversation around and asked the journalist to look at the other side of his narrow minded equation. She asked the right questions, asking him how his type of critique could potentially affect someone that he loves- like his daughter. And, it worked.

I felt like this interview was testimony to how turning stories inside out can really create major shifts in our hearts and give us the opportunity to demonstrate kindness and compassion for another’s ignorance. Sometimes we need a little helping hand to see the flip side. Not everyone will be open to it, and that’s where our acceptance can have an even greater ability to heal inner conflicts.

Before I had this little moment with the internet this morning, I was walking through my office and noticed I was wearing a shoe that was squeaking with every step. It made me laugh- because I’m always reflecting on how to walk in someone else’s shoes, much like McCarthy encouraged this journalist to do. Sometimes we just have squeaky shoes, and it takes initiative and a desire to change what is inside of us to look at the cause of our squeaky shoes. Maybe we love our squeaky shoes, but we simply have to throw them away because their appearance does not outweigh their usefulness.

Image via http://meetville.com/quotes/tag/empathy/page9
Image via http://meetville.com/quotes/tag/empathy/page9

In the famous singing words of Cat Stevens,

You can make it all true. And, you can make it undo.

It’s easy. You only need to know, well if you want to sing out, sing out! If you want to be free, be free. Because there is a million things to be, you know that there are.

I’m with Cat Stevens on this one. There is nothing more powerful than the knowledge that you have a choice. You have a choice to be kind. You have a choice to see the other side. You have a choice to be free and sing out. The road may be a little squeaky while getting there, but if you take a moment to look around you, I think you’ll be surprised at how much people are trying.

Leaving Where We Come From

Acceptance, Forgiveness, Hope, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Recommended Reading Soundtrack: On Your Own by Distant Cousins

There are moments in our lives when we grieve. When they happen, I feel we go through a deciphering process of what it is that we are really grieving versus what we think we are grieving. Our heart rests in that moment between you and an emotional hankering for what you thought you knew- sadness, joy, forgiveness and love. These are the things that we take with us, no matter how far away the plane ride or the drive is from where you come from.

But the question remains, why is it so hard to leave where we come from?

There are scores of films, music and books about it. And I seem to gravitate toward many of these stories. Our story is a powerful thing, easily mixing with every form of communication we have created. All of our stories have one thing in common- the truth of who we are is buried inside of us along with veils of expectations, perceptions and sometimes denial. The human heart will always play the role of the decipherer and give us the direction we are constantly seeking amidst all of these veils.

drseuss_memoriesAs I was re-watching the ending of the film “This Is Where I Leave You”, that old familiar song began to play in my heart. The emotions welled as Jason Bateman’s character says farewell to his family after coming together for his father’s funeral. Each sibling goes their separate ways, but even though they were physically going in different directions, you can see the inner conflict in their faces and body language. No words were needed, just a great song and a look to say it all.

Where we come from is more than a house, more than some land, and more than a voice that replays over and over again in our head like a mixed tape. It’s a complicated, dimensional tale that produced not only who we have chosen to be, but how we react to the world around us, and every judgment we hold against ourselves (beware!). When you pull all of that together into a person, a magical thing unfolds- life.

Sometimes it does not seem so magical to the eye, but we just keep truck’n nonetheless. Why? I’m sure you, me and everyone around us continues to ask this question- especially when you want to pull your hair out and just throw your cell phone, computer or tablet into a lake. Giving up seems like this big open space that could potentially swallow up all of our frustrations without much harm. But is giving up letting go of our expectations or deciding not to believe in our dreams anymore?

Nothing says hope like WALL-E!
Nothing says hope like WALL-E!

“Don’t give up hope. It’s a chore.” Margaret Atwood

Recently I had the great opportunity to hear an interview with author Margaret Atwood. At the end of the interview, the journalist asked her if she had one last thing she wanted to say to the audience. Quickly she scrambled to say, “Don’t give up hope. It’s a chore.” Wise words? Wise words, indeed. What if leaving where we came from wasn’t about saying goodbye to all that good stuff that makes us who we are today, but about embracing it and knowing that it will always be there in every good thing you do?

I can’t help but be intrigued by these words of wisdom by Ms. Atwood. The idea that choosing hope over all the naysayers (we are our toughest critics!) and really believing in yourself and your dreams is not something that just happens- that you have to perpetuate it and be conscious of it like any other practice. All I can do is repeat it over and over again like a mantra- a song, a story.

So, this is where I leave you. Remember, “Don’t give up hope. It’s a chore.” You have to keep on truck’n- your life is worth it.

http://refreshingwatersblog.com/2013/06/19/healing-pt-1/

Limitless? “Get Real!”

Compassion, Forgiveness, Life Coach, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Recommended Reading Soundtrack: “More than Life” by Whitley on album The Submarine

There are those moments tied to places from our past that emit a certain electricity. Times where we have felt right on our game, and nothing was going to get in our way of accomplishing our “Mission Impossible.” Growing up, ballet class was not one of those places for me. There were times in ballet class when I just wanted to disappear; when I ruthlessly compared myself to the “tiny” pretty girls and made unconscious decisions about my own “potential.” But I loved to dance so much that I continued in my Marcia Sue School of Dance class off that country road behind a donut shop from the time I was a smiling naïve kindergartner to a crazy teenager in high school.

ballet_sepia

I remember one afternoon while we were stretching our teacher asked us as a group what our dream was for our future. There were lots of “classic” answers. One of my classmates that I had known for years stated the trendy answer for girls in the late 80s/early 90s, “President of the United States.” I remember thinking, “why would anyone want that job!” I still feel that way, honestly. But I digress.

To me, the idea behind our “potential” as human beings contains a lot of emotional and sexist rhetoric. Defining what our greatest potential really means is a topic that intrigues me, especially as I engage in analyzing my own root belief systems and negativity.

The Quest to Define Our Potential with the Ego

There is a lot of talk out there about our inability to acknowledge the limitless nature of our potential as human beings. There are movies about it with titles so simple, how could we question their content? Titles like, “Limitless.” Or, one of my favorites? “Phenomenon!” We place a lot of limits around ourselves regardless- and they constantly transform. Stubbornness, and the need to make someone we are angry with wrong, is probably one of the most common limits I see in my work on myself, and with others.

Burma-Thailand_Railway._c._1943._Prisoners_of_war__POWs__laying_railway_track_1943-2

But recently, I saw a film that blew my mind when I least expected it. As I sat in silence after the end of this heart wrenching story about a tortured soul and their abuser, I thought to myself, “Wow, now there is a man that truly lived his greatest potential. I can only hope I can love as big as he did.” The story was based on the autobiography, The Railway Man, by Eric Lomax. Lomax was a British Army officer who was sent to a Japanese POW camp in 1942 with the surrender of Singapore and forced to participate in building the well-known “Death Railway” in Thailand.

While in the camp he was tortured for telling the truth, and although he physically survived the torture and war, his heart was tormented and in pain for most of his life. In the early 80s he fell in love and remarried a woman that loved him so deeply, she was willing to risk losing her husband to help him heal his psychological wounds. This involved confronting the darkness that he was not able to reveal, even to her.

Lomax’s closest friend and also a former POW from the same camp located the interrogator that largely participated in his psychological and physical torture. His interrogator, Takashi Nagase, was living in Thailand and as part of his own personal atonement for participating in the war, had financed a Buddhist temple and museum near the bridge at the River Kwai where he gave tours. Lomax was determined to go to Thailand and kill him, but what ended up happening is an incredible story of forgiveness and reconciliation.

Owning Our Inner Freebird!

freebird_elizabethtown

Lomax ended up becoming good friends with Nagase, a man that lived in his head as his greatest enemy for 40 years. How is it, that something so extraordinary, can happen? This is the truth of our potential as human beings. To be able to recognize that ignorance can cause someone to act out wrongly and truly see that their ignorance was not their truth. To be able to reconcile with our enemy is the greatest gift we can give to our self, and will enable us to move beyond beliefs that keep us stationary in life. Freedom in our hearts, that “Free Bird” if you will (having visions of a papier mache bird on fire comically flying over the heads of memorial attendees in Cameron Crowe’s Elizabethtown here!) has the potential to take you to unimaginable heights. These heights are only determined by you, and your own purpose in life. It is up to each of us to question what brings us joy- even if that means being the “President of the United States?”

Time to Get Real

The idea of embracing our limitless potential is about getting real with ourselves. If you can’t look into the mirror and question yourself, “where am I putting up a big STOP sign in my heart,” then you will continue to experience limitations behind the inability to forgive. I do believe it exists, this limitless potential, but without one another we can’t get there. Each of us has a gift to give to the world, to one another- it just may not be what you “think” it is. Now then, let’s REALLY get real!

Bearing Witness to Your Light on the Horizon

Compassion, Gratefulness, Life Coach, Reflection, Self Perception, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Recommended Reading Soundtrack:  MountainTop by Bedouin Soundclash on Album “Light the Horizon”

Recently I found myself engaged in my annual hiking tradition of tackling a 12,600 foot mountain called Santa Fe Baldy here in New Mexico. As I was rising higher and higher in altitude up this beautiful giant that holds a special place in my heart, my inner rock star was on repeat with the song Mountain Top by Bedouin Soundclash. Over and over again the words cycled “Up on the Mountain Top!” while I grew more and more out of breath. I even ran into an older gentleman whistling Chariots of Fire (his own inner rock star was clearly on a different plane), which sounded as loud as my first Alpine speaker system in my very old college VW Rabbit because the mountains are enveloped in a profound quietude at 7:30 in the morning, but it could not overpower this punk rock motivation.

Climbing a mountain, in the isolated wilderness as nature buzzes along in sync with the sunrise for 14 miles gives you a lot of time to be alone with yourself- your mind and all its delusional perceptions. It became a metaphor for my life, as it often does, and did in the very song by Bedouin Soundclash. We are constantly moving even when we don’t want to, toward a horizon colored in disaster and joy. The sky can be mucked with clouds and thunderstorms but that horizon still exists beneath the cover. Our mind can be rattled with aggravation, depression, or anxiety- but life just keeps buzzing by and we have a choice to either go along with it, or let it push us forward kicking and screaming.

Oh, There You Are Peter

A few days after my hike, the news regarding the death of Robin Williams struck my heart as it did do many others in this world. I know that much of our planet has been writing about it, talking about it, dedicating time spots in television with some of his most memorable movies. But I can’t help but express my own sadness about his passing. I didn’t know this man, but I felt like I did. I grew up with him and his improvisational genius. His smile became a permanent fixture in my heart from the scene in Hook when he begins to remember his inner Peter Pan, his truth (Click Here to Watch!).

IMG_7211

Life’s challenge to remember our joy can be like climbing a mountain and never reaching that beautiful view promised to you by all the hiking guide books. Yet, he helped me remember it all the time! In fact, there were times where I myself wanted to let go of this life and would lay in my bed crying, wishing that I no longer had to endure the forgetfulness that comes with being human. But I would put on Hook and remember that amidst the struggle of my mind’s demons there was something inside me that recognized itself in the people around me (even when I wanted to shoot the television when the miscast Julia Roberts came on screen as Tink- nothing against you Ms. Roberts).

I think about how his world as a celebrity must have been so strange. Always having to put on a face for people when he might have felt desperation inside his heart. It is so easy for us to play the part of someone else even when we might not want to go there. But when the cameras were on, he was so good at it! And I believe that all of us are pretty darn good at it. We’ve been programmed to forget who we are and why we are here.

Your Fantabulous Light on the Horizon

But you know what, Mr. Williams? You helped me remember- because you struggled with it yourself. You helped a lot of people remember and that was your gift to us. Over the weekend I had the unique pleasure of getting to spend a few days with my niece and nephews on the east coast. Aladdin was on, and so was Mrs. Doubtfire. I saw my niece light up with laughter at age 5 when she saw Mrs. Doubtfire’s fake boobs catch on fire while cooking for the first time. I had the opportunity to talk to her about the fantabulous joy you brought to so many people’s hearts, and will continue to bring with what you’ve left behind for us to bear witness to your soul’s gifts, the light on the horizon.

“Because You’re a sky full of stars,” brought to you by Coldplay

stars

With all that I am, I shall continue to be inspired by you and hope that I can bring others comfort much in the way you brought it to me. Sometimes we may feel lost, but if we can just remember the Peter Pan that we truly are in what we share as human beings, we have a chance at seeing the joys of Never Never Land even when we are experiencing the life of another human being toiling away in our cubical. Your generosity can only be described as that light on the horizon that we see so often and linger in its beauty. “You are a sky full of stars.” Thank you.

Sometimes We Need a Little Groot & Soulshine

Acceptance, Ego, Empowerment, Mind, Self Perception, , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Recommended Reading Soundtrack: Soulshine by Warren Haynes (Acoustic)

I wish I could start every blog post I write with the tag phrase from the movie trailer guy, “In a world…” with the same deliberate curiosity and poignancy. I’d call it the “In a World Series” and end the sentence with the post’s topic. If I were going to do that today, I’d say, “IN A WORLD where Jessica feels overwhelmed by her own mind that just won’t shut up, there came a time where nothing would do- except- finding a way to tell her inner voice’s rants to SHUT UP!”

great comic from happyguide.co
great comic from happyguide.co

But, no matter how much I wish I could shut off that mental valve, it would be impossible. So I shall just have to co-exist for this moment, and accept my teenager inner voice that feels the perceived “injustice” of everything happening around me. And, “In a PERFECT World” ending, my acceptance would span beyond my annoying inner voice into my grievances with myself. Because really, that’s where all my grievances with my world’s injustices come from. Yes, really. Right back to my own achy breaky heart.

“The wretch, concentered all in self,” Sir Walter Scott

But, the nice thing about all of this is one special word, accountability. When I own my grievances and link them with my choices that brought me face to face with each and every situation I encounter, I feel a sense of empowerment and freedom. Yes, sometimes I feel like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day when he’s giving up on trying to understand why he continues to wake up to the same thing every day, and as he sits in that animated small town diner with the same people for the millionth time (I am full of hyperbole today) he just starts eating complete crap and talks the way he really wants to talk to “Rita” about life with exuding pessimism and sarcasm. And, Bill Murray sarcasm is hard to beat, especially when he is simultaneously shoving an entire piece of angel food cake into his mouth, smoking a cigarette and pouring coffee into his mouth directly from the pitcher in the early morning hours!

gold-fireflies-2[2]

And let’s face it- much like Groundhog Day, we all wake up to the same thing regularly. A rerun of so many conversations, arguments, thoughts- just in differently appearing contexts. Sometimes, when you find yourself dragging like that you just need to turn on a little soulshine. Warren Haynes has taught me a little something with his special song this week, along with one of the coolest Guardians of the Galaxy, Groot. Just saying his name makes me laugh inside, laugh outside, and want to groove to O-o-h Child by The Five Stairsteps. And on a side confession-  I never knew who actually sang that song until this blog post- but I’ve probably heard that song a million times. Probably (envision Johnny Dangerously here with “Once”).

You are a beautiful firefly

Those that haven’t seen Guardians of the Galaxy yet, spoiler alert. When Groot, the tree-like being from Planet X, surrounds his friends with his entire body to protect them from a crashing death and fills their bubble with beautiful fire-fly-like lights glowing around their hopeless faces, saying for the first time “We are Groot” instead of “I am Groot,” I found myself in joyful tears.

I was sad. But I also felt so much joy because I was witnessing such a beautifully written seen about complete oneness in a funny, misunderstood tree creature. Yes, it is just a movie about superheroes and villains in a galaxy far, far away- but those superheroes and villains were created by people that believe in our heart’s ability to love and witness one another with the greatest of empathy.   So while we may feel uncool in our funky minds at times, remember that this vulnerability creates a little place holding a reminder of how cool life truly is…..and when you see someone’s soul shining, you can remember to own and love your own shining soul.

Just remember the words that Warren Hayes has given us in his delightful, rock’n song-

When you can’t find the light
That got you through the cloudy days
When the stars ain’t shinin’ bright
It feels like you’ve lost your way
When the candle lights of home
Burn so very far away
Oh, you got to let your soul shine
Just like my daddy used to say

Let’s Rock Big Love! (that’s me, I’m not as “cool” as Mr. Hayes!)