Category Archives: Empowerment

Sometimes We Need a Little Groot & Soulshine

Acceptance, Ego, Empowerment, Mind, Self Perception, , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Recommended Reading Soundtrack: Soulshine by Warren Haynes (Acoustic)

I wish I could start every blog post I write with the tag phrase from the movie trailer guy, “In a world…” with the same deliberate curiosity and poignancy. I’d call it the “In a World Series” and end the sentence with the post’s topic. If I were going to do that today, I’d say, “IN A WORLD where Jessica feels overwhelmed by her own mind that just won’t shut up, there came a time where nothing would do- except- finding a way to tell her inner voice’s rants to SHUT UP!”

great comic from happyguide.co
great comic from happyguide.co

But, no matter how much I wish I could shut off that mental valve, it would be impossible. So I shall just have to co-exist for this moment, and accept my teenager inner voice that feels the perceived “injustice” of everything happening around me. And, “In a PERFECT World” ending, my acceptance would span beyond my annoying inner voice into my grievances with myself. Because really, that’s where all my grievances with my world’s injustices come from. Yes, really. Right back to my own achy breaky heart.

“The wretch, concentered all in self,” Sir Walter Scott

But, the nice thing about all of this is one special word, accountability. When I own my grievances and link them with my choices that brought me face to face with each and every situation I encounter, I feel a sense of empowerment and freedom. Yes, sometimes I feel like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day when he’s giving up on trying to understand why he continues to wake up to the same thing every day, and as he sits in that animated small town diner with the same people for the millionth time (I am full of hyperbole today) he just starts eating complete crap and talks the way he really wants to talk to “Rita” about life with exuding pessimism and sarcasm. And, Bill Murray sarcasm is hard to beat, especially when he is simultaneously shoving an entire piece of angel food cake into his mouth, smoking a cigarette and pouring coffee into his mouth directly from the pitcher in the early morning hours!

gold-fireflies-2[2]

And let’s face it- much like Groundhog Day, we all wake up to the same thing regularly. A rerun of so many conversations, arguments, thoughts- just in differently appearing contexts. Sometimes, when you find yourself dragging like that you just need to turn on a little soulshine. Warren Haynes has taught me a little something with his special song this week, along with one of the coolest Guardians of the Galaxy, Groot. Just saying his name makes me laugh inside, laugh outside, and want to groove to O-o-h Child by The Five Stairsteps. And on a side confession-  I never knew who actually sang that song until this blog post- but I’ve probably heard that song a million times. Probably (envision Johnny Dangerously here with “Once”).

You are a beautiful firefly

Those that haven’t seen Guardians of the Galaxy yet, spoiler alert. When Groot, the tree-like being from Planet X, surrounds his friends with his entire body to protect them from a crashing death and fills their bubble with beautiful fire-fly-like lights glowing around their hopeless faces, saying for the first time “We are Groot” instead of “I am Groot,” I found myself in joyful tears.

I was sad. But I also felt so much joy because I was witnessing such a beautifully written seen about complete oneness in a funny, misunderstood tree creature. Yes, it is just a movie about superheroes and villains in a galaxy far, far away- but those superheroes and villains were created by people that believe in our heart’s ability to love and witness one another with the greatest of empathy.   So while we may feel uncool in our funky minds at times, remember that this vulnerability creates a little place holding a reminder of how cool life truly is…..and when you see someone’s soul shining, you can remember to own and love your own shining soul.

Just remember the words that Warren Hayes has given us in his delightful, rock’n song-

When you can’t find the light
That got you through the cloudy days
When the stars ain’t shinin’ bright
It feels like you’ve lost your way
When the candle lights of home
Burn so very far away
Oh, you got to let your soul shine
Just like my daddy used to say

Let’s Rock Big Love! (that’s me, I’m not as “cool” as Mr. Hayes!)

Owning My Uncool Is Not a Bad Thing

Empowerment, Mind, Perception, Self Perception, , , , , , , , , , ,

Recommended Listening Soundtrack: Cool Rock Boy by Juliana Hatfield

Who has found themselves laughing while watching the opening scene of one of the greatest satirical films ever made- (at least if you live in the US and have my mind) Office Space, while the dreaded commute to work is taking place and the ever so high-strung and very white character named “Michael Bolton” is ironically rapping away in his sedan? And then, as he sees a black man selling flowers on the street he actually shrinks into his seat, locks his car door, and turns down the music; only to turn it up again once he gains distance from the flower peddler. All you can do is LAUGH out loud at his absurdity. This is what I call a low point- a moment of strangely misplaced fear yielding the ultimate “uncool” goo, yet ever so funny for the audience.

officespace_motivation

Why is it so funny? Good question. I recently had my own experience of oozing “uncool” goo that might shed some light on the subject. As you might have noticed, it is summer in the Northern Hemisphere. Yes, sticky sweet summer is here, and with it comes sticky sweet pop songs made to lure us in with their simple jangles about new love and ultimate love disasters.

And then, there was me. Driving home myself one early evening doing my typical dance with the radio. Changing the stations over and over again with high hopes that maybe it would deliver something cool. Suddenly I found myself drawn into one of this summer’s truly sticky sweet pop songs by Justin Timberlake titled “Not a Bad Thing.” I actually had it turned up (and it was not freedom rock), singing along in a trance induced by subtle brainwashing when I realized I had to stop at a light. Of course, there were 2 younger people on the corner. I found myself turning the music down to a nice quiet mute.

Yes, I found myself too ashamed to allow these unsuspecting “youths” know my dirty little secret. That I sometimes like cheesy pop music and even listen to it at elevated volume levels as I drive. Now, I am going to own my uncool and face my shame with you! I can’t help but laugh out loud at my own antics with drive-by music that is ironically titled “Not a Bad Thing.” But really, this whole musical shame episode is not really about music- it is about my own judgments and insecurities, and how I project them onto others.

Time to own my uncool.

Now, let’s face the music. As I have been laughing at myself for what I did, I have been thinking about why I can’t just enjoy music of any kind and not feel embarrassed for enjoying a certain pop song. I have to admit, there is a part of me that does not respect a lot of what the pop industry generates, but yet there is an internal battle I have difficulty ignoring. So how can I turn this perception about the pop industry into something with meaningful purpose, empty of my attachment to judgments?

We can relate this pop song dilemma to all aspects of our life. That is the magic of a perception conundrum. Without the attachment of our emotional drama, a perception is just a perception- and it can be rooted in negativity or positivity. But either way, they exist because we are humans having an ego experience. By focusing on our intention behind a perception we can see if it is limiting or not so limiting. My perceptions around the pop music industry are limiting because I limit my joy in life by judging myself for simply having fun with a song, even if it is sticky sweet.

How can I challenge myself to confront my judgment? The next time that Justin Timberlake song is playing on the airwaves, I’m going to turn it up, with my windows down and be that singing-out-loud person without a care for judgments, including my own! Maybe it really is “not a bad thing” to just let it go and have a little fun every once in a while!

Flaming June by Frederic Leighton

Sweeping the Nation with Sentimental Hogwash

Aging, Change, Empowerment, Life, Peace, Poetry, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Recommended Reading Soundtrack:  Keep Breathing by Ingrid Michaelson

The past week. I have felt unsure of what to say. Between the UC Santa Barbara shootings, to the death of Maya Angelou and the release of an American POW after 5 years of imprisonment- it seems that the world seemingly continues its typical journey of inhaling and exhaling. A journey of ups and downs, where we are all collectively growing and contemplating big questions. In today’s world we are more connected through technology than ever before. We are vastly aware of our global challenges and their many potentials. Ironically it is prompting a contemplation about the nature of human love and the connection that exists outside of technology. The connection that comes from some place impossible to label, yet we feel compelled to search for it and understand it as it is felt on a grander scale due to the oxymoron that is technology.

williamshakespeare164317

As I was tidying up some dishes the other morning in contemplation, I picked up a coffee cup that was given to me 16 years ago as a gift during more transitions. The gift displayed one of my favorite paintings by Frederic Leighton, titled “Flaming June.” I received the gift after I had just witnessed the painting’s phenomenal power with my own eyes and heart in an exhibit at the National Gallery of Art.

I had just moved out of my parents’ home and into a group house in Northern Virginia. My best friend’s sister, Jane, gave me this mug for Christmas- and on it was a quote by William Shakespeare from Hamlet, “We know what we are, but know not what we may be.”

I love gifts like this. Some may label them as “sentimental hogwash” like the greedy Mr. Potter in the film “It’s a Wonderful Life,” but they tell a story whenever I look at them. Hundreds of moments flow through my mind, and I’m suddenly carried down a river through time and whisked into old places that seem new again because I am viewing them from the fresh (you could insert cynical in here, but let’s not go there today!) perspective of my older self.

Look at Maya Angelou. What a life! I mean, her voice was a shining example of how one can harness their power through choice and thrust it forward only to create joy like she probably couldn’t have imagined when she was young, sexually abused and mute for 5 years. Our life’s story is a part of us, but it doesn’t have to solely exist as “what we may be.” Our past and our potential exist in tandem, dancing with nothing but a fine line between them.

Our life story is the driver for choosing something that goes beyond what we think we are, it is the backup plan- the place we can revert to if we feel like we don’t know who we are anymore. There is a great Sex in the City episode where the main character Carrie loses years of work on her laptop when her hard drive crashes and burns, leaving her angry and speechless. Then she is asked the ultimate crap question, “When was the last time you backed up?” The problem? She had never backed up, and that was the end of that story- but not the end of what she “may be.”

“But ‘baby fish mouth’ is sweeping the nation?

babyfishmouth

Sometimes I feel like Harry and Jess in “When Harry Met Sally” during their Pictionary game. I’m struggling to understand what is being communicated, from “Mick Jagger is a baby?” to “baby fish mouth,” when all Sally is trying to say is “Baby Talk.” Maybe “baby fish mouth” really is sweeping the nation. But then, clarity arrives. While I was driving on the evening of Maya Angelou’s death, NPR played her recitation of her poem, “Still I Rise.” I cried as I listened to her striking words. They struck my heart like a masterful musician commanding their audience. She commanded me to remember, that amidst all the chaos that appears in the world around us, hope really does win every time, no matter how much my ego wants to shout “sentimental hogwash!” There are always going to be Potters in this world, but the most powerful ones exist in our own demons.

As Ms. Angelou spoke, so did my heart-

“Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I’ll rise.”

Age, Impermanence and All That Jazz

Aging, DPChallenge, Ego, Empowerment, Gratefulness, Perception, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

 Recommended reading soundtrack:  Explosions in the Sky, “Your Hand In Mine”

“I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second isn’t a second at all, it stretches on forever, like an ocean of time… For me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout camp, watching falling stars… And yellow leaves, from the maple trees, that lined our street… Or my grandmother’s hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper… And the first time I saw my cousin Tony’s brand new Firebird… And Janie… And Janie… And… Carolyn. I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me… but it’s hard to stay mad, when there’s so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once, and it’s too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that’s about to burst… And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can’t feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life… You have no idea what I’m talking about, I’m sure. But don’t worry… you will someday.” Lester Burnham in the film “American Beauty.”

When I read that quote, when I hear the voice in that quote- no matter how many times- chills run through my body and tears well up in my eyes.  This feeling, although emotional, is an indicator of truth for me.  It epitomizes what the word “age” means to me.  How can we put a value on aging in a culture that markets it as unwanted, something to be resisted?  Every time I find my mind wandering into a fear about aging, I flashback to the version of myself at 21 and I remember how grateful I am to no longer be anywhere in the vicinity of that age.  Kind of like Amanda Peet’s character in the movie “A lot Like Love” (a simple film, yes- but who doesn’t laugh their arse off when she runs into the sliding glass door?) where she is reminded of her punk rock stage in college where she dated angry musicians.    Only I always ended up with drummers.

moonA Time Machine & Magical Spells

Remember Napoleon Dynamite’s brother who can’t let go of his high school football career and is in search of a time travel machine?  I think I would rather endure a Harry Potter spell of vomiting slugs than go back in time.  Especially to high school!  Why?  Because transformation really sweetens the deal in life, and no matter how difficult it gets, I now at least have the emotional tools to deal with things in a more balanced way.  Not everyone has experienced life in the same way- but there is something about age that I just can’t resist deep down.

You Mean I’m going to die?

It is the life, the experience that determines the molding of our belief systems that correlate with our perception of what aging will yield to us.  This includes our infinite potential- all possibilities.  We have a tendency to limit our potential by thinking that age determines something in the abstract about who we are, how we have failed to live up to something that does not even exist.  Do you let expectations about who you are “supposed” to be bring you down, and cloud your enjoyment of life as you age?  Do you remember in your actions that with each day comes the possibility of a life ended?

Sometimes I feel like I am engaged in a race against time. “I have to get this done,” I tell myself.  “If I don’t accomplish this- what will it say about me?  Am I wasting this life?  Am I fulfilling my human purpose to help people and make this world a better place?”  These are all sound questions, but they can get in the way of simply enjoying life as well and seeing how your role unfolds through active, present engagement.  It is the ego’s tendency to put the pressure on, but you can be sure that if you are putting the pressure on yourself to “be” something or “do” something, then you are impeding life’s natural flow and at the same time making yourself miserable.

clock+face+vintage+graphicsfairy6It’s Question Time

Age.  Perhaps the only pressure we should engage in with ourselves as we age should involve the amount of love we hold in our hearts like that balloon that is about to burst- for ourselves and the true beauty of our world as Lester Burnham suggests at the end of his life in American Beauty.

Perhaps we should ask ourselves, when was the last time that we felt “anything but gratitude for every single moment” in our lives and shared that gratitude with those around us?  I am grateful for this moment that I am sharing with you, and hope that together we can approach age as a meaningful gift.   I am also grateful for this opportunity to reflect on my own perception of aging and how it may limit me or empower me to live a life that is engaging and powerful.

A Heart Without Words

Change, Empowerment, Heal, Life, Life Coach, Perception, Self Perception, , , , , , , , ,

There are times in my life where I feel like I’m the main character in the song, “Once in a Lifetime,” by the Talking Heads.  You never know when something is suddenly going to happen and you find yourself asking a simple, but profound statement, “Well, how did I get here?”  That song is like a dose of therapy for me and I just want to rock out whenever it plays on my MP3 player like Mark Ruffalo’s teenage character in “13 Going on 30” when he starts “Burning Down the House” during the birthday party.  Am I “dating” myself here?

But honestly- life is a balancing act and it is so easy to suddenly feel like you’re a waning silver ball in a pinball machine getting knocked around by some fired up kid, only to realize that you’re the one operating the device that is bashing yourself over and over again.  It makes me laugh, and it also makes me want to cry.  Both are good, because both are associated with a healthy release if you can simply adjust your mind’s lens to come face to face with that frame in your own movie.

I have the opportunity to ask myself, “How do I want to experience my day?”

Every morning, I have the choice to look myself in the mirror and remind myself that the film is rolling.  I am the only one calling the shots, the director in the chair and the person holding the clapperboard shouting, “Take 1.”  I have the opportunity to ask myself, “How do I want to experience my day?”  Navigating each experience is like an exercise in focusing the camera and getting the magical shot that is going to win you the Oscar.

flowers_snowPerhaps.  Life can prove to be difficult, it really can.  In the state where I have lived the past 8 years, New Mexico, the annual legislative session is in full swing and I have had the pleasure (can you feel my sarcasm here?) of listening to a lot of it this year.  In doing so, I find my mind blurring with the politics that exist in our society and how they create a barrier to what truly matters- providing the help where it is needed.  But surprisingly, I experienced one of those moments when, buried beneath the snow at my feet, I witnessed the beginning of spring in a bright colorful flower straining to break through.   As I was struggling to find anything positive regarding my listening commitment and the voices droning on in “debate”, SURPRISE!

A state representative was delivering the opening prayer to a floor session, when he gave a quote by Gandhi that I had never heard before,

Gandhi w child smiling“Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul. It is daily admission of one’s weakness. It is better in prayer to have a heart without words than words without a heart.”

With that, the only words I can offer here, are- don’t give up.  Or better yet- do.  Because, it is usually in that moment of surrender that we are given a great gift.  It may be the solution to your problem, or it just may be a moment of joy in your heart that will help you remember your truth while you process your life.  And that my friends, “is the rest of the story.”

Visualize This- Untying the Roots of Perception

Acceptance, Attachment, Awareness, Ego, Empowerment, Love, Mind, Perception, Self Perception, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Sometimes this picture is the perfect physical expression of how I feel inside.  When I look at this picture right now, I see a beautiful Buddha.  A representation of the creative, divine nature of my being slowly emerging from the lanky, strong root system of an ancient tree obscuring my truth and happiness at this very moment.  That’s right folks, I said it- an ancient tree rooted into the ground with all its might.  Such are my old perceptions and belief systems that give rise to this feeling of helplessness and a desire to run like Forrest Gump from the fire I have created (2 Tom Hanks’ references in once sentence- yes!).  Here I am, wrapped up in feelings that must be connected to a place where my ignorant mind dwells searching for an identity that doesn’t exist like a child playing a game.

I am face to face literally with this part of my existence that is grasping in the form of attachment to some perception of who I am supposed to be- yes this is really how I feel!  This perception is the root I see in this beautiful picture, linked to a feeling of massive overwhelm.  At times I simply wonder why life can feel like this grueling process of emergence when it has the potential to be so simple and easy.  How do we move these roots of obscuration out of way? I hear myself singing the same old song of expectations on how I am “supposed” to be feeling.

It’s Process Time!

When you look at this picture, what do you perceive at this moment?  Start with your feelings and ask yourself-

“What moment, person, or expectation do these feelings link to in my ignorant mind?”

Then breathe in the awareness you have shined into your heart.

Feel how simple it is to love yourself, no matter what you see in the world around you.

Ask to see any barriers you might be imagining between you and your greatest desires and imagine them easily dissolving in this love.

There is an excerpt from a poem by Anne Hillman in the book “365 Prayers, Blessings, and Affirmations to Celebrate the Human Journey” by Elizabeth Roberts and Elias Amidon that I’d like to share as it relates-

As we experience and accept
All that we really are…
We grow in care.
We begin to embrace others
As ourselves, and learn to live
As one among many…

Let’s Rock Big Love together everyone, we’re all we truly have on this human journey.