Tag Archives: buddhism

Age, Impermanence and All That Jazz

March 11, 2014Aging, DPChallenge, Ego, Empowerment, Gratefulness, PerceptionA lot Like Love, Age, aging, Amanda Peet, American Beauty, buddhism, death, DPchallenge, Ego, Empowerment, Expectations, Explosions in the Sky, Gratefulness, Harry Potter, Lester Burnham, Life, Napoleon Dynamite, PerceptionBorn to Be

Recommended reading soundtrack: Explosions in the Sky, “Your Hand In Mine”

“I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second isn’t a second at all, it stretches on forever, like an ocean of time… For me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout camp, watching falling stars… And yellow leaves, from the maple trees, that lined our street… Or my grandmother’s hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper… And the first time I saw my cousin Tony’s brand new Firebird… And Janie… And Janie… And… Carolyn. I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me… but it’s hard to stay mad, when there’s so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once, and it’s too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that’s about to burst… And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can’t feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life… You have no idea what I’m talking about, I’m sure. But don’t worry… you will someday.” Lester Burnham in the film “American Beauty.”

When I read that quote, when I hear the voice in that quote- no matter how many times- chills run through my body and tears well up in my eyes. This feeling, although emotional, is an indicator of truth for me. It epitomizes what the word “age” means to me. How can we put a value on aging in a culture that markets it as unwanted, something to be resisted? Every time I find my mind wandering into a fear about aging, I flashback to the version of myself at 21 and I remember how grateful I am to no longer be anywhere in the vicinity of that age. Kind of like Amanda Peet’s character in the movie “A lot Like Love” (a simple film, yes- but who doesn’t laugh their arse off when she runs into the sliding glass door?) where she is reminded of her punk rock stage in college where she dated angry musicians. Only I always ended up with drummers.

A Time Machine & Magical Spells

Remember Napoleon Dynamite’s brother who can’t let go of his high school football career and is in search of a time travel machine? I think I would rather endure a Harry Potter spell of vomiting slugs than go back in time. Especially to high school! Why? Because transformation really sweetens the deal in life, and no matter how difficult it gets, I now at least have the emotional tools to deal with things in a more balanced way. Not everyone has experienced life in the same way- but there is something about age that I just can’t resist deep down.

You Mean I’m going to die?

It is the life, the experience that determines the molding of our belief systems that correlate with our perception of what aging will yield to us. This includes our infinite potential- all possibilities. We have a tendency to limit our potential by thinking that age determines something in the abstract about who we are, how we have failed to live up to something that does not even exist. Do you let expectations about who you are “supposed” to be bring you down, and cloud your enjoyment of life as you age? Do you remember in your actions that with each day comes the possibility of a life ended?

Sometimes I feel like I am engaged in a race against time. “I have to get this done,” I tell myself. “If I don’t accomplish this- what will it say about me? Am I wasting this life? Am I fulfilling my human purpose to help people and make this world a better place?” These are all sound questions, but they can get in the way of simply enjoying life as well and seeing how your role unfolds through active, present engagement. It is the ego’s tendency to put the pressure on, but you can be sure that if you are putting the pressure on yourself to “be” something or “do” something, then you are impeding life’s natural flow and at the same time making yourself miserable.

It’s Question Time

Age. Perhaps the only pressure we should engage in with ourselves as we age should involve the amount of love we hold in our hearts like that balloon that is about to burst- for ourselves and the true beauty of our world as Lester Burnham suggests at the end of his life in American Beauty.

Perhaps we should ask ourselves, when was the last time that we felt “anything but gratitude for every single moment” in our lives and shared that gratitude with those around us? I am grateful for this moment that I am sharing with you, and hope that together we can approach age as a meaningful gift. I am also grateful for this opportunity to reflect on my own perception of aging and how it may limit me or empower me to live a life that is engaging and powerful.

Facebook (What is it good for?)- Weekly Writing Challenge

July 2, 2013Attachment, Buddhism, Ego, Empowerment, Forgiveness, Mind, Perception, Self PerceptionAttachment, buddhism, Clark Griswold, Coaching, DPchallenge, Edwin Starr, Empowerment, Facebook, forgiveness, Mind the Gap, Perception, Self Perception, TwitterBorn to Be

Interchanging the word “Facebook” with the word “War” in the personally preferred Edwin Starr version of the hit Motown classic for my title has been a fun exercise for the day! I have to thank the Weekly Writing Challenge for instigating this little musical intrigue in my easily distracted mind. Now down to business.

I once sat in a teaching by a Tibetan Buddhist nun that compared Facebook to the ultimate ego indulgence. A place where egos run rampant with their over identification with self. Where attachment to an “identity” grows stronger with every random post about what so and so ate for dinner or how annoying that guy was for cutting so and so off in traffic. If I had to pinpoint the one thing that I learned from teaching people how to empower themselves it is that we have a choice in how we treat ourselves, others, and even in our use of a social media tool whether its Facebook, Twitter, or the next big thing.

I didn’t even use Facebook until around 2008, and I am even “of” that generation. I resisted it until I could find a way to make it work in a meaningful way for me. When I was training to be a life coach it was important to do your own personal work so you could help others authentically. A big exercise we did was inventory our “incompletes” and make them “complete.”

This is where you interject, “What the heck is she talking about?”

Thank you for asking!

Incompletes- those little energy suckers (or BIG) that sit in the periphery of your mind, loaded up like a Twinkie with emotions such as guilt, shame. The emotions never expire much like a Twinkie and its filling- and they clog up your life, unknowingly, like a backed up airplane runway. You want to take off but “hello!” Traffic strikes again.

That’s when I met Facebook. There were so many people in my life that I wanted to apologize to, make amends, let them know, “I am grateful for how you showed up in my life,” but couldn’t because how could I find them? I got on Facebook and like an illuminated sky on a crisp spring morning I cleared my runway of all those stuck airplanes that were weighing me down. So the question remains- is Facebook the “scourge” of the internet?

There have been lots of posts about how everything is a choice, even Facebook (including mine). So guess what? For me it all comes down to perception! I literally made Facebook “purposeful” and chose to engage with it in a positive, meaningful way where I could heal some old self-inflicted wounds and enrich my life. And boy did it help me breathe. To that note, I’d like to sing a rousing “Happy Birthday” and give my gratitude for the lightness I feel in my heart today due to this rocking scourge of the internet. Perception is a shaky topic because people stand by them like they are a part of their body. But when I can acknowledge and own the power it plays from the ignorant mind to the purposeful mind, I can determine its role in my life rather than allow “it” to determine me.

In the perfect words of Clark Griswold, “Alleluia! Where’s the Tylenol?!” Thanks Mr. Griswold for that perfect ending.

Let’s Rock Big Love!

That’s All Happiness Is…

June 13, 2013Attachment, Awareness, Buddhism, Carl Jung, Ego, heart, Joy, Life, Love, Mind, Perception, Poetry, Reflection, Self Perception, self-help, transformationbuddhism, Compassion, emptiness, joy, Life, love, oneness, poetry, purposeful perception, Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche, Self Perception, self-help, self-loveBorn to Be

It’s just the heart being free.

About 4 years ago I saw the above music video made for Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche, also a spoken word artist, poet and marathon runner. The video and poem blew me away and I knew I would never be able to get it out of my head. Which is funny, because it is all about being in your head. I love this video because it incorporates something very relatable to me. Some of my attachment in this life has to do with electronic music, and combining music with imagery and profound words really gets my heart going. I feel joy, joy, joy! What can I say?

I love this poem by Rinpoche because it expresses the passion I have in my heart to explore perception also in a relatable way. In the end of the video he says:

When you’re happy, I’m happy.
That’s the formula.
First you, then me.
That’s all happiness is…
It’s just the heart being free.

The ignorant mind’s primary sense of being comes from the idea that it’s just “me”. It strives to prove every day that we are separate from one another through habitual thinking. But when you decide to train your mind to think outside of itself, and see that everyone’s experience around us is our experience then happiness becomes abundant. When we see happiness in others, it grows within us. Envision a garden that thrives in the joy of others- that is our heart.

I remember coming home one night from a dinner stopping at an intersection with a homeless man holding a sign in need of assistance. It was probably 30 degrees outside and 8:30 pm. I had nothing but a $20 bill, so I decided to just give it to him. All I could do was cry with joy on my way home because he felt so happy. Doing things for others changes our self-perception from being all about me, to being all about us. This is the development of purposeful perception, and another opportunity to love from the heart.

Please share this video with others if you feel inspired by it too.

“Let’s Rock Big Love!” Jessica

Daily Prompt: Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes > Life Without Change? A Life Unlived.

February 4, 2013Change, Daily Prompt, Death, Ego, Karma, Life Coach, Nature, Perception, Psychology, Reflection, Self Perception, transformation, UncategorizedAttachment, buddhism, Change, Daily Prompt, Ego, karma, Life, oneness, PerceptionBorn to Be

There is nothing permanent except change. Herodotus

Change. A scary, dramatic word for many. For nature, change is constant. For human beings, change is also constant. But for the mind- the experience of change is much like death, at least in the beginning. For the mind, a thought or a belief system generally emulates concrete. But then again, even concrete changes! It is the nature of the mind to hold onto belief systems like they are living, breathing beings that determine who we are and how the world “should” be

When I was in college studying historic preservation, I had to focus a lot of my time on the conservation of old structures. And to conserve, you had to know a building’s past, present and future. We actually had to create architecturally accurate drawings- only through a reverse process of intricately measuring every aspect of a building in its current state of life. One of the things I distinctly remember is the debate of glass being a solid or a slowly moving liquid. When you look at a glass window from the 1800s, it looks like old glass- wavy, hard to see through clearly- but still. It almost looked like it was not consistent in thickness from the top to the bottom. Apparently that has to do with the way the glass was actually made, and not necessarily with its molecular structure- but nonetheless, even though some say it is a myth, there are still scientists out there doing studies to prove if glass is a slow moving liquid or a solid.

Nonetheless- the fact that the argument is out there at all is just symptomatic of subtle change that exists on a molecular level every second around us. Change is constant, even though we can’t see it with our naked eye. The same goes for relationships, and our own mental perception of the world. In my world, our outer reality is reflective of our inner reality. How we perceive ourselves is projected around us like a film in each person we interact with in a multitude of ways.

Change never stops, one minute we are born and with every day thereafter, our body is different. The thing is, change naturally flows in a step by step process. A butterfly does not become a butterfly in one leap. It starts with the laying of an egg, then the birth of the caterpillar, then the pupa or chrysalis, and finally- the beautiful butterfly, which may life only 1-2 weeks. If we are going to make a major change in our life, and we have the opportunity to take it in steps, I feel that the mind generally copes better with change in a step by step process.

But let’s be real! Some change simply does not unfold like a gracious symphony. The death of a loved one, the loss of a job- that is the change we cannot control. But if we are choosing a major life change- choose the healthiest options for yourself and remember your motivation with each step. This will create an outcome that will always serve your highest good- trust in this outcome is integral or else, you may just lose your mind. But then again- would that be a bad thing?

I would love to know- how have you coped with a much needed, major life change- and was it easier to do it in one swoop, or vice versa?

PEACE- WHY NOT?

January 30, 2013Awareness, Buddhism, Compassion, Ego, Forgiveness, heart, Joy, Life, Love, oneness, Peace, Perception, UncategorizedB4Peace, buddhism, Compassion, forgiveness, joy, Life, love, peace, Self Perception, self-love, Thich Nhat HanhBorn to Be

Loving February’s Bloggers for Peace writing challenge so much, I am am starting in January (I know, it’s the last day of the month anyhoo!). Thich Nhat Hanh states, Peace in oneself, Peace in the world.

What inspires peace for people?

What gives people the desire to work for peace?

I have seen so many people downtrodden by the daunting task of even thinking about peace in our world. Their sadness from seeing the suffering on our planet instills compassion, and then to me- a natural desire inherently occurs- the desire to create peace within our own heart. As a teacher of how perception affects our reality and the world around us, I truly believe that peace begins within ourselves and it illuminates each person we touch with kindness and a greater compassion for others.

Peace is not a futile effort.

Seeing the joy and love within the images placed in my “Peace, Why Not?” billboard inspires me to sit with my own heart space and reflect on my motivation and how I connect with the world around me. This contemplation, if instilled within all of us each day, would continue to grow and light a flame within each person we interact with like candles on a birthday cake. Our personal work does have an effect on the world, and we must continue to do this work if we wish to change the world.

Mantra: I am a holy vessel of light being used for the greater good of all sentient beings.

This is a sacred mantra for me, and my motivation every day. See how it works for you, modify it to work for you, encourage yourself to engage in self love and acceptance so your inner peace will light the way for others.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Illumination

January 11, 2013Buddhism, Compassion, Death, Film, Forgiveness, heart, Life, Love, Meditation, Nature, Reflectionbuddhism, Compassion, death, film, forgiveness, joy, new mexico, peace, poetry, postaday, santa feBorn to Be

Living the light of my heart
On again, off again
My light switch, my ego’s fear
Dancing, illuminated-
Light’s alliteration playing a game of hop-scotch
With each syllable sounding out
A glimmer of hope bounces from my outer to my inner
A sanctuary of joy ready to open widely
If only for a moment
Let there be light, let there be love.

When I took this picture it was my second adventure in New Mexico, only this one was one of those experiences where your heart is hunting kismet. Stopping in Madrid, a small artist community an hour from Santa Fe where they’ve filmed such regal cinema as “Wild Hogs” (just joking on the regal), me and my friend met this local shop owner that had a very open heart. She invited us to go check out a ceremonial place where locals would meet and have drum circles, and walk a labyrinth. When we got there it was like stumbling upon the love of their land in a balanced ritual of Goddess magic. I took this picture as I pondered the imagination that had been infused into the land of New Mexico from its magical past.

The light illuminated these colorful twists of prayer next to some Tibetan prayer flags. Believe it or not, Santa Fe, NM, has a large Tibetan population. The Tibetan scholar and consultant for Scorsese’s film Kundun, Lobsang Lhalungpa, lived in Santa Fe until he passed away due to a drunk driver accident. At his funeral, it was said that when he came to New Mexico and meditated, it was the closest thing to Tibet he had ever experienced in his life, which is why he moved there.

At the funeral ceremony someone said that before he died, he told his wife not to feel anger toward the drunk driver. That we must feel compassion for him. It was an illuminating experience, just as this light in my picture. A room of 400 people were able to create so much compassion in that instant that would again be infused into our land for generations of healing. Even on his death bed he forgave and created a wave of love. I hope that when I pass, my life will end in such a peaceful state as well, cultivated by the compassion and kindness of so many others.