film | Born to Be

Living the light of my heart
On again, off again
My light switch, my ego’s fear
Dancing, illuminated-
Light’s alliteration playing a game of hop-scotch
With each syllable sounding out
A glimmer of hope bounces from my outer to my inner
A sanctuary of joy ready to open widely
If only for a moment
Let there be light, let there be love.

When I took this picture it was my second adventure in New Mexico, only this one was one of those experiences where your heart is hunting kismet. Stopping in Madrid, a small artist community an hour from Santa Fe where they’ve filmed such regal cinema as “Wild Hogs” (just joking on the regal), me and my friend met this local shop owner that had a very open heart. She invited us to go check out a ceremonial place where locals would meet and have drum circles, and walk a labyrinth. When we got there it was like stumbling upon the love of their land in a balanced ritual of Goddess magic. I took this picture as I pondered the imagination that had been infused into the land of New Mexico from its magical past.

The light illuminated these colorful twists of prayer next to some Tibetan prayer flags. Believe it or not, Santa Fe, NM, has a large Tibetan population. The Tibetan scholar and consultant for Scorsese’s film Kundun, Lobsang Lhalungpa, lived in Santa Fe until he passed away due to a drunk driver accident. At his funeral, it was said that when he came to New Mexico and meditated, it was the closest thing to Tibet he had ever experienced in his life, which is why he moved there.

At the funeral ceremony someone said that before he died, he told his wife not to feel anger toward the drunk driver. That we must feel compassion for him. It was an illuminating experience, just as this light in my picture. A room of 400 people were able to create so much compassion in that instant that would again be infused into our land for generations of healing. Even on his death bed he forgave and created a wave of love. I hope that when I pass, my life will end in such a peaceful state as well, cultivated by the compassion and kindness of so many others.

“Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion’s starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don’t see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often, it’s not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it’s always there – fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know, none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge – they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I’ve got a sneaking suspicion… love actually is all around.” Prime Minister, Love Actually

Whenever I feel depressed or downtrodden myself in regards to life, I love to put on a film that will help me gain perspective and turn things around. It’s like that moment in the movie Reality Bites when Wynona Ryder’s character feels herself sinking as the elevator is going down. She realizes that all the roads she is attempting to take for her employment are going nowhere and she is beginning to fail miserably in her quest to validate her hope in the world she had created in graduating from college. “Love Actually” is one of those films that always helps me gain perspective, especially when I hear the opening quote by the Prime Minister. Just watching the scenes from the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport I begin to tear up.

And now, whenever I’m actually at the airport I have the same experience! I think the most catching part for me was when the quote goes into the planes hitting the Twin Towers. The writer gives insight into the beauty of our human connection and our purpose as human beings- to express love and learn from it.

“When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know, none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge – they were all messages of love.”

When I heard that piece of the quote for the first time, it was like someone opening the curtains and letting the sunlight in my heart. Whenever I hear the quote now- I have the same experience. My experience never changes no matter how many times the television comes clean with the same statement about messages of love. If you knew you were about to die and you had a chance to call someone- who would you contact to convey a message of love? Who would you forgive as well as apologize to? I know it may sound cliché, but life is short and we could very well die tomorrow. The person you want to apologize to could die tomorrow as well. There is a temporal aspect to our experience and we have to embrace every opportunity we have to clean up all the regrets and resentments we carry around in our hearts, our minds.

When I was training as a life coach, we were given a great assignment- to go through all that baggage and clean it up already. Every person I had wanted to so desperately apologize to for something I thought I had done to them- I had the opportunity now to write it all down in a big list and purify it all with love. Facebook became the greatest invention on earth for me! I was able to contact so many people and just say, “I’m sorry.” It was one of the most liberating experiences in my life. I felt so light, free- so filled with gratefulness for the opportunity to just simply let it all go. All of us have that opportunity and it is up to us to do the work, let go of our stubbornness and desire to point the finger in someone’s face.

We have a great opportunity and I recommend that everyone do it at least once in your life! One of the most interesting insights I learned through the whole process was how much weight I had placed onto my experiences all by my lonesome self with shame and regret- when the other person did not even have a clue nor did they even think I had really hurt them. We feel shameful and embarrassed for behaving certain ways in our ignorance or incorrect state of mind and don’t realize how much this baggage really affects us. When you grab your past by the reigns and really plunge into the future with full-on releasement you free yourself from the grasping of the mind that perpetuates karma. You give to yourself, as well as that other person, a great opportunity of freedom and joy. And, it is beautiful.

If you feel scared in your attempt to nullify an uncomfortable situation, simply remember, “…love actually is all around.”