This is a poem and photo story displaying my heart’s connection with the perception expressed in the poem- connecting the words with pictures I have taken on my journey to a more purposeful perception daily in my life. The journey is important, as it is part of reflecting where our perceptions have come from. I urge you to reflect in your heart where your most limiting self perceptions play out in your life regularly and share in this blog. Remember to scroll down and click through each page!
Remembering feelings sparked by a note
A sound, so sweet and subtle
Only your heart knows it is there
Giving rise to feelings light
You forget what is weighing you down
The ignorant mind trailing behind you like a predator
Wondering why you are not paying attention
In its small, small world
A perspective limited and stuck without motion
Yet my heart- tugging me forward like a child
I shall follow, carry me into this knowing
Remind me of what it is to be
So light and airy- remind me of love’s truth
A truth so full it explodes in the sky before me
Yet it continues to be, forever full.
There is nothing permanent except change. Herodotus
Change. A scary, dramatic word for many. For nature, change is constant. For human beings, change is also constant. But for the mind- the experience of change is much like death, at least in the beginning. For the mind, a thought or a belief system generally emulates concrete. But then again, even concrete changes! It is the nature of the mind to hold onto belief systems like they are living, breathing beings that determine who we are and how the world “should” be
When I was in college studying historic preservation, I had to focus a lot of my time on the conservation of old structures. And to conserve, you had to know a building’s past, present and future. We actually had to create architecturally accurate drawings- only through a reverse process of intricately measuring every aspect of a building in its current state of life. One of the things I distinctly remember is the debate of glass being a solid or a slowly moving liquid. When you look at a glass window from the 1800s, it looks like old glass- wavy, hard to see through clearly- but still. It almost looked like it was not consistent in thickness from the top to the bottom. Apparently that has to do with the way the glass was actually made, and not necessarily with its molecular structure- but nonetheless, even though some say it is a myth, there are still scientists out there doing studies to prove if glass is a slow moving liquid or a solid.
Nonetheless- the fact that the argument is out there at all is just symptomatic of subtle change that exists on a molecular level every second around us. Change is constant, even though we can’t see it with our naked eye. The same goes for relationships, and our own mental perception of the world. In my world, our outer reality is reflective of our inner reality. How we perceive ourselves is projected around us like a film in each person we interact with in a multitude of ways.
Change never stops, one minute we are born and with every day thereafter, our body is different. The thing is, change naturally flows in a step by step process. A butterfly does not become a butterfly in one leap. It starts with the laying of an egg, then the birth of the caterpillar, then the pupa or chrysalis, and finally- the beautiful butterfly, which may life only 1-2 weeks. If we are going to make a major change in our life, and we have the opportunity to take it in steps, I feel that the mind generally copes better with change in a step by step process.
But let’s be real! Some change simply does not unfold like a gracious symphony. The death of a loved one, the loss of a job- that is the change we cannot control. But if we are choosing a major life change- choose the healthiest options for yourself and remember your motivation with each step. This will create an outcome that will always serve your highest good- trust in this outcome is integral or else, you may just lose your mind. But then again- would that be a bad thing?
I would love to know- how have you coped with a much needed, major life change- and was it easier to do it in one swoop, or vice versa?
Living the light of my heart
On again, off again
My light switch, my ego’s fear
Light’s alliteration playing a game of hop-scotch
With each syllable sounding out
A glimmer of hope bounces from my outer to my inner
A sanctuary of joy ready to open widely
If only for a moment
Let there be light, let there be love.
When I took this picture it was my second adventure in New Mexico, only this one was one of those experiences where your heart is hunting kismet. Stopping in Madrid, a small artist community an hour from Santa Fe where they’ve filmed such regal cinema as “Wild Hogs” (just joking on the regal), me and my friend met this local shop owner that had a very open heart. She invited us to go check out a ceremonial place where locals would meet and have drum circles, and walk a labyrinth. When we got there it was like stumbling upon the love of their land in a balanced ritual of Goddess magic. I took this picture as I pondered the imagination that had been infused into the land of New Mexico from its magical past.
The light illuminated these colorful twists of prayer next to some Tibetan prayer flags. Believe it or not, Santa Fe, NM, has a large Tibetan population. The Tibetan scholar and consultant for Scorsese’s film Kundun, Lobsang Lhalungpa, lived in Santa Fe until he passed away due to a drunk driver accident. At his funeral, it was said that when he came to New Mexico and meditated, it was the closest thing to Tibet he had ever experienced in his life, which is why he moved there.
At the funeral ceremony someone said that before he died, he told his wife not to feel anger toward the drunk driver. That we must feel compassion for him. It was an illuminating experience, just as this light in my picture. A room of 400 people were able to create so much compassion in that instant that would again be infused into our land for generations of healing. Even on his death bed he forgave and created a wave of love. I hope that when I pass, my life will end in such a peaceful state as well, cultivated by the compassion and kindness of so many others.
This recurrence of feeling appearing from somewhere
Walking around this labyrinth of moments- singing and laughing
Something is happening as a dancing wisp of light
Lifts me into the sky and I am somewhere, again
Everyone wishing for this light to seep into their denseness
To become something other than the heaviness of the mind
Opening up my arms to the possibility
Where is everyone?
A leaf twists in a dollop of warm air that drops from my mouth
I shall blow my dreams upon you little leaf
And you will carry them for eternity
Even when your color turns in the midst of a changing temperature
You will ride another wind into a soft tuft of grass where I shall lay my head
As you blend into the earth beside my worn face
You will give me compassion and I shall cry
As I water the earth with my heart and tears
We shall become new again.
When I wrote this poem, I was sitting outside on my patio one evening admiring the New Mexico sky and all its amplified color. Living in New Mexico I am lucky to live as a guest and witness to some of the most extraordinary light. This light illuminates the world around me in a way that is inspiring. Witnessing nature and all it reveals to us is a gift and a place of contemplation in simply being. I am grateful every day for all that nature reveals to us through the movement of the sun and moon each day, and through the changing seasons. Here we are again, fall…..autumn.
Autumn gives us a cyclical opportunity to remember that at every moment change has occurred. My body, emotions, and mental state- they are changed and different with every passing second. There is no permanent “self”. My body that once was born and small enough to be held by my parents is now 5’7” and again- forever changing. Nature has taught me that no matter how permanent my ego tells me I am, it is not true. And I can use this as a subtle opportunity to remember to love and not be so hard on the world around me and my own perceived self. Every moment of compassion brings about more change and what once “was” between me and another person may be anew with understanding and gratefulness.
I am grateful even for this small opportunity to write and share with you how your beauty that has been reflected in this season we call autumn has changed me, once again.