Category Archives: Owning Your Uncool: The Series

Rusted Root Redux: The Real Deal On Change, Compassion & Acceptance

A Story of Big Love & Uncool.

Recommended Listening Soundtrack:  Send Me On My Way, Rusted Root (Of Course!)

groundhog2Based on the title of this blog post, you might think you are in an episode of Ground Hog Day.  And much like Bill Murray reaches a point of ultimate frustration and desperation, driving off a cliff with the groundhog in his lap, I am about to metaphorically do the same thing here, with you!

Recently, when I learned that the band Rusted Root was coming to the “big” ABQ, New Mexico, I felt immediate excitement at the prospect of getting an interview with them for my “Owning Your Uncool” Series.  It was kismet, the universe aligning around passion, creativity and a common goal!

As I went through the process of putting the pieces together, I still felt myself mesmerized that “it was happening!” Just like that moment in Crowe’s Almost Famous when Kate Hudson’s character gives William Miller this simultaneous mischievous and magical look when they realize they’re going on tour with up and coming rock band Stillwater, I realized, “It was happening!”

It Really Happened, Alright.

When I went to publish my original post I found myself a little wary over the answers I’d received.  But an old voice came back to haunt me from the deep recesses of my grungy heart.  The answers weren’t matching exactly what I “thought” I had asked but the old voice knocking on my door was one of self doubt.  And self doubt is like a personally imposed curse that leads us down a road of pain, regret and even more self doubt- the irony!  It is with this post that I now have the opportunity to not only share with you Rusted Root’s amazing thoughts on life’s struggles and owning their uncool, I also have the lovely experience of owning my own uncool.

Yes, I mistakenly published incorrect answers to my interview with Rusted Root.  And yes, I feel totally uncool.  But what have I learned?  All I can do is forgive myself and my ignorance, and remember in the future to always follow my gut and to not fear the appearance of stupid showing up on my doorstep again.  Thank you, Rusted Root!

The Real Deal.

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Rusted Root sharing their “Movement” with the world uncensored!

Rusted Root is a band that embodies the spirit of Big Love, and with that said, I am honored to present to you the “Real” Rusted Root.  Here are some very personal and beautiful answers from band front man Michael Glabicki that come out of their “Movement,” a genuine conversation through their music about the devotion and intention of our actions as a collective community “to all that is love, healing and pragmatic.”

As musical artists working to express clear intentions around your “movement”, how have your struggles in life brought you to the place that you are now in your craft and in connecting with your community?

Struggles…..yes there have been many and rarely without. All you can say is thank you for the opportunity to grow and expand in  our individual and communal expression. Reality is good and exists to teach us what we need to actually live the dream. The dream of being a musician and creating a communal type of expression was mine from the start. If we could play meaningful music in every neighborhood and on every street the world would be a drastically different place. There would be more compassion and acceptance of one another. There are many forces against this idea. That is the main struggle. When starting out there was an opening on the planet for unique and deep music. Somehow we were able to slip in to the consciousness fairly easy. Soon after that  there was a closing of that doorway and a shutdown of expression. Things got a lot harder. Things continue to be a bit more superficial but I feel more excited and focused on what we can do to create a change. Those struggles have gotten me to a place where I can create a profound magic out of any situation now. So all I can say is thank you and let’s get going! There is now a fearless space easily achieved in the songwriting, arranging, and performance.  This allows us to be open in the moment to what is the most healing. It seems the most selfish surface music nowadays is the most planned out. They put upon the audience their mental idea of what  makes them look superior and it’s so lacking real magic. We open to the crowds energy and create with them in the moment bringing about a communal experience. I am constantly surprised on stage what comes out of us because of this- it is always different, alive, and connected.

If there was one big moment growing up that you could pinpoint as a major contributor to your life’s inner struggles and empowerment to continue doing what you love- what would that moment be?

I was 2&1/2 years old and I got ran over by a car. It was bad enough where I could have chosen to leave the world. I remember conversing with a spirit/ angel and afterwards deciding to come back. I remember understanding a lot more of my purpose after that and feeling love and support from spirit moving forward. It probably gave me my sense of humor and lightness about life. After that I would have dreams of fighting these evil human skull birds on the beach. They would surround me and the only way I could get out of it would be to get calm and find a humorous way to scare them off. Up to that point it was terrifying. It was very shamanistic. It really helped me define my role in a profound way. Actually I don’t feel that different now on stage.

Can you tell my readers about a time in your life, where you felt that same “uncool” and isolation inside as the teenage character in the film Almost Famous, and how you used that moment to propel yourself forward in your life?

I have always felt outside the norm. Literally as long as I can remember. My memories in the womb were probably plagued with feeling like an outsider.

I remember my parents thinking that there may be some mental issues with me. I think I was so in tune with energy and spirit that I wasn’t always seemingly here. They got some tests done in me. That made me feel inadequate. I think later in life playing music validated and communicated that spiritual world and made me feel that I had a purpose in this world.

How did you view yourself then, and how do you view yourself now?

Back then I was a bit more depressed and felt very hopeless. I felt like a freak. I felt afraid that everyone knew what I was feeling and was thinking the same thing. Honestly now I still have those feelings every once in a while. I don’t view myself in that way though. Now I feel different but extremely connected to everyone. I feel I have a very important role in the world. I feel that my differences are my power. I feel able to verbalize my experience. I feel that I have grown into an expert of my own experience and no one is more important. The best part is I feel I can really help others.

How do you view others and the world now, as a result of that moment in your life?

I view us all as children here to learn. Some people embrace this and some fight it. I think most people feel isolated so it’s all about creating oneness and respecting everyone’s individuality.

True Authenticity, a Band Called Rusted Root.

With all my heart, I honestly could not have asked for more authentic and inspiring answers for this piece.  I do these posts in an effort to remind not only myself, but all of you out there reading this, that we all have struggles.  There is not one person on this planet that does not feel insecure at times and lost within themselves.

But if we can just remember as Glabicki shared, “some people embrace thi and some fight it.”  With this post, I could not fight my own feelings about my mistake.  But I had to just own them and share them with you because if I can’t be real with myself and you, then all of this has no meaning.  I am grateful for this opportunity to share with you Rusted Root, and I hope you will share this with the world just the same.

If you’re in ABQ tonight, don’t miss the Heights Summerfest, Rusted Root will be playing their hearts out, as they always do.

Let’s Rock Big Love!

 

It’s Time Again! Asheville Musician Gavin Conner on Sharing Without Expectations

Recommended Reading Soundtrack: Another Bun in the Oven by Gavin Conner on Dang Birds featuring “Ah-oohs” by Henson Conner

Ignoring Your Heart’s Aspirations Is Not an Option

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Some of the most painful, laughable and beautiful lessons I’ve endured in my life had to do with lying. It wasn’t about lying to other people. It had to do with lying to myself. Coming to that realization and choosing accountability for your role in all your relationships is a big part of getting to know yourself.

It’s like when I’m running on a Saturday morning and I’m suddenly smoked by the last winner of the Boston Marathon. I don’t sit there and lie to myself that in my dreams I could ever perform like that kind of elite athlete; but for some reason when it comes to jobs or life partners, it is not so obvious.

Acknowledging our ability to creatively alter the truth around life’s choices is what “owning your uncool” is all about. Asheville based musician and teacher, Gavin Conner, is one of those fellow humans that truly embodies the spirit of owning this truth and following through with your heart’s passion. This is why I am thrilled to feature him and his personal experience in February’s “Owning Your Uncool” blog post.

Gavin Conner, Musician, Teacher & Muppet Enthusiast Extraordinaire!

Gav_GuitarWhen I think of Gavin Conner, I think of that scene in Moulin Rouge when Ewan McGregor looks to the camera with the cheesiest grin he can possibly muster and shouts, “Love is like oxygen!” Not that Gavin is cheesy (well maybe he can be a little, but this is what makes him so awesome!).

Whatever our creative endeavors may be, music for Gavin is like “the force” in Star Wars. And just like “the force,” you can’t ignore what your heart wants, especially if it causes an internal awakening and simultaneous war with the dark side. Think “South Park”, Robert Smith of the Cure, and Barbara Streisand’s downfall.

Robert_Smith_2I’ve known Gavin since high school. He and his closest family members have all been teachers to me on a grand scale and I don’t know who I would be without them, seriously. Between non-stop debating on the music industry and teaching me what it means to live life every day to the fullest with unconditional love, I have found myself eternally grateful for their gifts and enduring legacy of the heart. I hope Gavin’s personal story gives you the same inspiration around honoring your gifts and standing by them.

The Question Can you tell my readers about a time in your life where you felt that same “uncool” and isolation inside as the character in Almost Famous, and how you used that moment to propel yourself forward in your life?

The Answer In 2009, I finally got my crack at a full time teaching position at a middle school in North Carolina. It had been about eight years in the making. I started out sporadically substitute teaching in Virginia and convinced myself this was a worthy career, something I could really get into. A few years later with post graduate studies and student teaching under my belt, I relocated, readjusted credentials and finally got my foot in the door! It started out great, but as the year progressed it dawned on me that I was merely a pawn in the hell that is Middle School life!

Bueller? Bueller?

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Artwork by Illustrator Kreg Franco on Behance.net

It became exactly what I remembered from my own youth. Sadly it wasn’t the ruthless and mostly ungrateful students that would break me, it was the administration. As I ‘’toughed” it out they offered no support, and when I asked for support they gave stall tactics. What was even more disturbing? I got a peek behind the curtain of the public education system and it wasn’t pretty. Standardized tests were the bottom line and everything else was filler. Of course, I know not all public schools are as warped as this and even within my school, 98% of the staff were amazing but one Principal, (reminiscent of Mr. Rooney in Ferris Buller) was enough for me to see that this was not what I had been working so hard to be a part of.

Doing the Right Thing

So needless to say, after a full year of not only being told I was very uncool by the students but feeling very uncool in my soul (thanks to Mr. Rooney) I felt pretty devastated. Here I was trying to do a noble job, the right thing! And no one was helping me embrace it. I am a songwriter at heart, but am rational enough to know there needs to be a stable, “real job” to balance the artistic dream. So the best way I could own my uncool was: end the school year, pull the plug, lick my wounds and dive into a new album. I’ve been making albums since 1996. Starting in 2000, I’ve continued to make (at least one) album every year. This year’s album will mark the 15th straight year of making consecutive albums. Granted most of these albums are fairly simple home recordings and nothing terribly flashy, but still a glimpse into what I was experiencing for that year…for better or worse.

2010’s release was “Who Dares Awaken Me From My Slumber?” a very loose END OF EDUCATION concept album. I took the disappointment and began to channel it. On some tracks, such as the closing number, “The Scapegoat” I address Mr. Rooney and try to tell my side of the situation. “1989” I compare my own memory of middle school to the current relapse of misery, and the title track “…Slumber” I embrace the decision to move on and more or less thank the students and Mr. Rooney for letting me realize this was NOT what I wanted to do with rest of my life.

Owning Your Uncool to the Tune of Cool

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Like most horrible decisions we have to make in life, the silver lining is often- where does the misery leads us? When we finally are able to heal and look back, we realize that the moments when we feel we’ve truly hit rock bottom, are also the beginnings of a new era, a flip of the reset switch. Although my “career” choices have continued to be a bit dodgy over the years, I will always have my albums! My art! My only true currency in a bankrupt world. So I share them and expect nothing in return, taking solace in knowing they will always be there for me to create, especially when I am at my most uncool.

Check out Gavin’s newest album, Dang Birds.  Let’s Rock Big Love!

Dang_Birds_Album

Special Interview Series Launch! Aussie Musician Ben Lee Owns His Uncool

OWNING YOUR UNCOOL: THE SERIES- WHAT’S IT ALL ABOUT?

Recommended Reading Soundtrack:  Love Won’t Let You Down By Ben Lee featuring Sally Seltmann on A Mixtape from Ben Lee (Click on track 11, you won’t be disappointed!)

In September of 2013 I wrote a blog post in response to a weekly writing challenge about “Owning Your Uncool” rooted in one of my favorite quotes by the character Lester Bangs in Cameron Crowe’s brilliant film, Almost Famous. The quote has become a sort of compass for me in my life, and I find myself inspired by its meaning on a regular basis. Like a ritual, “owning my uncool” is something that I do in order to remain humble, compassionate and engaged with others and myself as we experience our process of living and existing in a confusing ego-driven world.

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Lester Bangs’ quote was a response to a rock bottom moment in Almost Famous when the lead character, William, was hit with a tremendous case of self-doubt. His experience taught him that the great music legends he worshiped had a flip side, a culture behind it that was manipulative and egotistical. In other words, he was outliving his naivety and getting acquainted with the dualistic humanity that potentially exists within all of us.

I am excited and inspired to be opening this series with a special “owning your uncool” moment from Aussie musician extraordinaire Ben Lee. As the readers of my blog know, and to the new readers out there- music is an important part of my own journey as a writer and artist. Just one song can change everything!  Ben Lee has been one of those inspirational artists to me in my own life, so being able to feature him in the opening of this series is basically AWESOME.

Ben_LeeA little ditty about Ben Lee, from me.

His music is honest and a constantly evolving reflection of his heart. Breathing Tornadoes was one of those albums that I could listen to over and over again. When I moved a world away from Washington, DC to Santa Fe, NM, I was caught up in the moment of learning how to be true to myself in a foreign social landscape. And yet, Breathing Tornadoes seems like light years away from his newest music.  His 2015 tour is in full swing with the release of his newest album, Love Is the Great Rebellion. Australian Stage Tix calls his music “upbeat, heart-on-sleeve pop.”

Being true to yourself in a wacky world full of expectations and projections can quickly become a challenge to simply not get sucked into the black hole of “who you’re supposed to be.” In anything we do, putting yourself out there takes courage because there will always be those that make their living through criticizing. With that said, below is Ben Lee’s answer to a question that is about showing the world we are all human and struggle. We don’t have to be alone in our struggles- even the most successful people have had their fair share of feeling insecure and realizing that their perception of the world was not necessarily the truth.

“I won’t hide, and you won’t win!”  Ben Lee

Me: Can you tell my readers about a time in your life, where you felt that same “uncool” and isolation inside as the character in Almost Famous, and how you used that moment to propel yourself forward in your life?

Lee: I remember being 14 and getting a stack of bad reviews from the English press sent to me by my label. They thought I would find it funny, but being 14, and having not yet developed any kind of thick skin, I was quite devastated. I was shocked. I couldn’t believe the brutality of them. The teasing. The resentment. I had never been exposed to that degree of vehemence. It knocked the wind out of me.

Later, after processing the unexpected loss of innocence I knew what I had to do. I cut each of the reviews up, made a collage of them, and included them in the artwork for the first Noise Addict album. It was an act of alchemy. I suddenly took control of the situation and wore the ridicule that I had been subjected to with an effortless act of defiance and pride.

Obviously, this was a temporary solution. There have been deeper levels at which I, like every other artist, have needed to confront my own need for validation, fame and success. I have had to systematically tear down these false idols, and continue down the path of artistry towards my ultimate goal. But in that moment, I did something important. I stood up and said “I won’t hide, and you won’t win”. And that was the beginning of my understanding of true success.

Me:  Thanks Ben!  Your authenticity rocks, I am grateful for the role your creative endeavors have played in my life.  I hope that everyone reading your response will take away something inspiring, and make the personal decision to also not hide their light out of fear of the critics.

I once heard you say that “the process is the actual award.”  There are times when we might feel like Winona Ryder’s character in Reality Bites as she slowly sinks into the bell jar with every move we make to better a situation.  But we can shift that moment with a new perception rooted in “Love as the Great Rebellion.”  When we’re in it, it’s hard to see outside of our foggy glasses of self doubt.  Let’s Rock Big Love!

You can check out more about Lee’s music at his website, http://www.ben-lee.com, or on his Facebook page.