How easy is it to forget about all the wonderful we have in our lives and focus on what we don’t have? My inner “Stubborn Suzy” rears her pretty little head again and wants things a certain way in order to be “happy.” But often times there is a greater plan taking place and it is impossible to know all the moving pieces taking place so those big miracles can happen.
Yet. There is often this part of me that wonders…why do I have an innate desire to do something that is NOT happening? Maybe it is happening, just not as quickly as my flowering ego would like it to happen? But sometimes there is this part of me that feels like Ewan McGregor in Baz Luhrmann’s Moulin Rouge. That scene where he talks about love, and exclaims “love is like oxygen,” yet no one around him gets it, no one will believe him.
In the end his character suffers a painful fate when the person he finally gets to sing his love song to dies in his arms. There are moments when this is how I feel as life changes, and these little aspects of myself have to be let go into that abyss of the unknown. They die, and I must love and accept them so that they can make that transition.
Why do we feel so wired to do something, yet feel like it is not going anywhere? Why does it feel so difficult to just let go? My “Stubborn Suzy” feels angry and wants to throw a temper tantrum. She just wants to tell the universe to bugger off. She wants everyone to know that it really is her party, and she can cry if she wants to. What is it that my “Stubborn Suzy” really needs, right now?
Honestly? I just don’t know. I’ll have to simply try and have a little faith in the way my heart feels, and that eventually its creations will surface in a form I will recognize. And my heart will again sing its love song.
What are you grateful for today? What area in your life have you felt resentful about and wished that it were different? Ask yourself what aspect of yourself feels like it should be different and why? Write for 5 minutes about what you have accomplished, and how that is contributing to the “bigger picture.” Remember, it is impossible to see all the surprises the universe has in store for you, just have faith that they are on their way. Love yourself big!