How easy is it to forget about all the wonderful we have in our lives and focus on what we don’t have? My inner “Stubborn Suzy” rears her pretty little head again and wants things a certain way in order to be “happy.” But often times there is a greater plan taking place and it is impossible to know all the moving pieces taking place so those big miracles can happen.
Yet. There is often this part of me that wonders…why do I have an innate desire to do something that is NOT happening? Maybe it is happening, just not as quickly as my flowering ego would like it to happen? But sometimes there is this part of me that feels like Ewan McGregor in Baz Luhrmann’s Moulin Rouge. That scene where he talks about love, and exclaims “love is like oxygen,” yet no one around him gets it, no one will believe him.
In the end his character suffers a painful fate when the person he finally gets to sing his love song to dies in his arms. There are moments when this is how I feel as life changes, and these little aspects of myself have to be let go into that abyss of the unknown. They die, and I must love and accept them so that they can make that transition.
Why do we feel so wired to do something, yet feel like it is not going anywhere? Why does it feel so difficult to just let go? My “Stubborn Suzy” feels angry and wants to throw a temper tantrum. She just wants to tell the universe to bugger off. She wants everyone to know that it really is her party, and she can cry if she wants to. What is it that my “Stubborn Suzy” really needs, right now?
Honestly? I just don’t know. I’ll have to simply try and have a little faith in the way my heart feels, and that eventually its creations will surface in a form I will recognize. And my heart will again sing its love song.
What are you grateful for today? What area in your life have you felt resentful about and wished that it were different? Ask yourself what aspect of yourself feels like it should be different and why? Write for 5 minutes about what you have accomplished, and how that is contributing to the “bigger picture.” Remember, it is impossible to see all the surprises the universe has in store for you, just have faith that they are on their way. Love yourself big!
4 thoughts on “It’s My Party and I’ll Cry If I Want To!”
I love this exercise. I try to do it everyday, whether in writing or in my head. The wonderful thing is when I do this consistently, I find more to appreciate in my life. I become happier, more peaceful, and more productive. Great post!
I learned about this exercise a few years ago — and yes, it did help put the positive things front and center in front of me. While I still take things for granted, and most likely most of us do, the difference now is that I am more aware of being grateful. Perhaps it’s because I am getting older and when I look around, I see how grateful I am and should continue to be.
One of my weaknesses is that I, too, want things to happen according to my agenda. You are right when you say “it is impossible to know all the moving pieces taking place so those big miracles can happen”.
Thankfully, I am very aware of this about me — and a few years ago I found a link online all about ‘going with the flow’ — Here it is for those of you who might be interested in reading it: http://zenhabits.net/12-practical-steps-for-learning-to-go-with-the-flow/
One of my favourite lines in this article is “First step is realizing that these things will happen. Not might happen, but will. There are things that we cannot control that will affect every aspect of our lives, and we must accept that, or we will constantly be frustrated”.
In the end, I learned that if I am trying to make something happen (whatever that may be) – it might not happen in the timeframe that I wanted it to happen. Life takes detours, but it will eventually happen. I’m not even talking about anything too heavy here either — it can be as simple as wanting to plan your day a certain way today. Then out of the blue, life throws you a curveball – your plans change and you now need to handle it and not be so rigid about it.
Go ahead – take the time to read that link I mentioned above. At the very least, it will provide you with a few laughs and perhaps allow you to reflect on some of your personal experiences.
I have been meaning to write a grateful post for a while and I shall be doing that shortly. I love that you use film quotes.