Heal | Born to Be

“In the present circumstances, no one can afford to assume that someone else will solve their problems. Every individual has a responsibility to help guide our global family in the right direction. Good wishes are not sufficient; we must become actively engaged.” – The Dalai Lama, at a Universal Ed for Compassion and Wisdom Conference in Sidney earlier this year.

In my meditation this morning I heard these distinct words-

“You are not a consequence.”

The first thing I had to do was find the more direct definition for consequence, and go from there. From Dictionary.com we get:

con·se·quence

Noun

A result or effect of an action or condition.
Importance or relevance: “the past is of no consequence”.

I loved the statement the minute I heard it in my heart. The statement oozes accountability and authenticity which are primary tenants in understanding how perception plays a role in our lives. I have often said in my writing that it is important for us to understand how to use the mind to work for us, rather than continue the charade of allowing the ignorant mind to use our precious opportunity of life.

So where do you stand?

Do you see your life as a playground of choices that you get to make every day including your own self perceptions, or do you live your life as if it were a place of consequence?
Do you view life as a result or effect of an action by another?
Are you and your experiences the consequence of others or of your own mind?

Lots of big questions? I know, I can’t help it! Something I realized this morning in this meditation as part of this statement on consequence is that my whole existence is the result of a desire to help others. The root of my existence is not to be kept and harbored but to be shared and lived with others.

We are all a result of a desire to help others.

Years ago I was watching this episode of the show ER- I loved that show. This one particular episode Eriq La Salle’s character, Dr. Benton, had to do some volunteer work at a mobile medical station in the middle of nowhere Louisiana. As a black man he was experiencing racism that he hadn’t normally experience, and as an educated man he himself was behaving like a classist that did not want to be there doing this assignment. Maybe easier said- he was pissed and angry, yet these people needed medical care. In the end of the show he had experienced a kind of spiritual awakening, where he realized how important it was for his work as a doctor to be used as a means to help people heal- that it went deeper than his ego linked with his ignorant mind initially led on.

At the end of this episode I cried so deeply for like an hour, because in my heart I could not imagine doing anything except helping people heal and I knew it was an innate part of my existence. We are all a result of a desire to help others. We are all a result of the desire to love ourselves wholly and in turn love others from the most expanded part of our being. No matter what we do in this life, we affect people and every moment is an opportunity to offer kindness. Every little act is part of being accountable and acknowledging that we do not need to be victims of consequence, but part of a life that owns our mind and how it affects the world around us.

“LET’S ROCK BIG LOVE!”™ Jessica

Does your mind ever feel like this? Picture by Katie Lee found on VisualizeUS at http://vi.sualize.us/by_katie_lee_photography_balloons_inspiration_beautiful_picture_5zqt.html — Does your mind ever feel like this? Picture by Katie Lee found on VisualizeUS

A long time ago during my partying days, a group of my friends and I loved to rock out to the electronica song “Where’s you’re head at?” by Basement Jaxx. I remember dancing on the rooftop of my friends’ enormous shared house on California Street in Washington DC during the summer when the low air quality fog hung over the city as the sun would try to peak through making it more amplified- and soon, you could always count on that song. Why am I rambling about this song? Because I realize how this song has revisited me in a new era of my life, where I am always reflecting on just that- where is my head at?

It is a perfect question at a perfect time where half of what I am reflecting on is perception and mind. In breaking down perception, the basis for my upcoming book, reflecting on your state of mind and how you are about to react to something is a valuable tool for living a life that is authentic and uncompromising. What I do realize is that most of the time we are completely unaware of where our head is at- tethered like a balloon full of helium just bobbing along and carried off by any slight wind.

Just recently I orchestrated a large event and made a mistake that really upset someone. When the victim of my own confused and overwhelmed mind confronted me about it, she expressed with great emotion her unhappiness. I felt terrible and could not get the moment out of my mind. I had a running tape of it secured tightly, rolling over and over again. I relived my own feelings of shame and guilt without end.

When I went to bed that night, I had to acknowledge a few things in order to let it go.

1- Forgiveness of Self- I made a mistake, but running a tape of the incident over and over again in my head was completely unproductive and would give me nothing but more negative “feelings.”

2- Acceptance & Boundaries- I said I was sorry, over and over again, but she chose to still be extremely upset. It is her choice alone. There is nothing I could do to change how she felt. This is a good boundary- that everyone is responsible for their own choices, and that includes in how they react. My only role would be acceptance, and staying in my integrity.

3- Release & Heal- In accepting and creating a good boundary, the one thing I did have the power to do was envision this other person engaged in feelings of love and happiness. I bathed the situation in love, and let it go. Even in our boundary setting, which is primarily a function of the ego-driven mind, I can also recognize that we are inherently connected in spirit, and sending love and envisioning the situation transformed, it will help heal no matter what my mind tells me.

I acknowledge I still feel a little shame. And I shall need to work on that, continuing with the above process. But most importantly, I also have the opportunity to practice the new perception in my life that is at the core of my past experiences with situations like this one-

I AM LOVABLE.

Even though I made a mistake as we all do, or else what is the purpose of this life, I am not unlovable, as I might have acted out in the past. But due to awareness, and processing my old perception of self, I can now come out of situations like that empowered with the knowledge of exactly where my head is at. Time to groove on!