Tag Archives: Life

Dear Postal Service, Everything Has Changed!

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Okay, inspiration comes in many forms.  We just need to trust it when it comes, and feel with our heart what we are feeling with an intention of deep listening.  What do these feelings want to say?  What is this moment revealing for me in the hidden spaces of my heart?  Life moves so fast, we forget about those amazing moments where something in us is pushing the envelope of what we “think” we’re supposed to be doing or where we think we’re going in our life.

I just saw this mini documentary on the Postal Service’s tour made by the “Creators Project.”  In the beginning they were doing interviews with people outside a venue and someone made a comment that almost passed me by, but fortunately I was actually hearing him.  They said how listening to the songs on this tour of their one and only album brought him back to the memories of that time in his life,  his “angsty” high school years.  He said that some of them were good, and some of them were bad (you could tell it was difficult to experience just by the tone of his voice).  As I kept watching and feeling the music, I started experiencing the same thing that this post-angsty dude was talking about!

I fought my tears as I started thinking about when I discovered the Postal Service.  It was 2005 and I was going through a major transition in my life.  Thinking about moving out west from the only place I really knew, my home, which coincidentally was Washington DC.  As I began to process my desire to move, I went through this amazing time in my life where I really discovered myself by being alone after so many years of co-dependency.  I began to fall in love myself and what it was to just “be”.  I enjoyed every moment I had in those quiet places of my heart.

Getting ready for one of my runs!
Getting ready for one of my runs!

The album contributed to a major change in my self-perception.  Every day I would run and run around this middle school track near my house.  Rain or shine- I was out there, feeling the air, listening to the same Postal Service album, listening to my breath change with the moving minutes.  I moved to New Mexico, still listening to that same album, adjusting to a new reality where the only thing my mind had was me.  I remember during my cross-country drive with my Dad he said to me he couldn’t believe I was doing it, and asked me if I was scared.  This was a big deal for my Dad- if you knew him, you’d understand.  He didn’t grow up in a household where people talked about their feelings.  He also does not like change, and this was BIG change for his daughter, his first child, and for him.

I said I just knew that this was right, and that everything was going to work out.  I will never forget his response.  He said he wished he could be like me, and be that sure about something so big.  I will always be grateful to the Postal Service for that album, and the change it inspired in me as it helped me to learn how to love myself and trust change.  And, I will always have that memory of my Father that I will cherish and remember whenever I feel like I just don’t know.

The documentary ended with the song, Some Idealistic Future, where they sang with the audience those words that inspired so much for me, “Everything will change…ooo…ooooo”.  Yes, everything has changed, thank goodness!

Visualize This- Untying the Roots of Perception

Acceptance, Attachment, Awareness, Ego, Empowerment, Love, Mind, Perception, Self Perception, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Sometimes this picture is the perfect physical expression of how I feel inside.  When I look at this picture right now, I see a beautiful Buddha.  A representation of the creative, divine nature of my being slowly emerging from the lanky, strong root system of an ancient tree obscuring my truth and happiness at this very moment.  That’s right folks, I said it- an ancient tree rooted into the ground with all its might.  Such are my old perceptions and belief systems that give rise to this feeling of helplessness and a desire to run like Forrest Gump from the fire I have created (2 Tom Hanks’ references in once sentence- yes!).  Here I am, wrapped up in feelings that must be connected to a place where my ignorant mind dwells searching for an identity that doesn’t exist like a child playing a game.

I am face to face literally with this part of my existence that is grasping in the form of attachment to some perception of who I am supposed to be- yes this is really how I feel!  This perception is the root I see in this beautiful picture, linked to a feeling of massive overwhelm.  At times I simply wonder why life can feel like this grueling process of emergence when it has the potential to be so simple and easy.  How do we move these roots of obscuration out of way? I hear myself singing the same old song of expectations on how I am “supposed” to be feeling.

It’s Process Time!

When you look at this picture, what do you perceive at this moment?  Start with your feelings and ask yourself-

“What moment, person, or expectation do these feelings link to in my ignorant mind?”

Then breathe in the awareness you have shined into your heart.

Feel how simple it is to love yourself, no matter what you see in the world around you.

Ask to see any barriers you might be imagining between you and your greatest desires and imagine them easily dissolving in this love.

There is an excerpt from a poem by Anne Hillman in the book “365 Prayers, Blessings, and Affirmations to Celebrate the Human Journey” by Elizabeth Roberts and Elias Amidon that I’d like to share as it relates-

As we experience and accept
All that we really are…
We grow in care.
We begin to embrace others
As ourselves, and learn to live
As one among many…

Let’s Rock Big Love together everyone, we’re all we truly have on this human journey.

For + Giveness & A Weepie Moment

Acceptance, Attachment, Forgiveness, Grief, Self Perception, , , , , , , , , ,
Opening our mind's doors beyond limiting perceptions through forgiveness.
Opening our mind’s doors beyond limiting perceptions through forgiveness.

Sometimes in our lives you have an unexpected memory pop up, and you have to remember that there are no coincidences in our interactions with others and what they present to you in your heart, especially when there are no words spoken that specifically point to a past experience.  I am so grateful for everyone in my life, as they teach me something new every moment.  Recently I have been talking to a teacher of mine named Cliff Edwards that is publishing a book called The Forgiveness Handbook.  Cliff and I were talking about how forgiveness opens doorways in our lives to new possibilities because it gives us relief to our attachments to the past.  In my work, attachment is a major component to the creation of our limiting perceptions.

As I was pondering our conversation, a song by the Weepies came on called “All that I Want.”  As I heard it I started thinking about a moment in my life where I was told by my ex-husband that he had been having an affair.  That emotion of the past started creeping to the surface in the form of tears even though I thought it was gone.  I was in the middle of some hefty coaching training at the time, so I was constantly in a process, dealing with this giant eruption that just blew into my life without abandon and no warning.  I remember being on a lesson call, and I expressed to all my classmates how much of a struggle it was at that moment to feel forgiveness for the feelings of betrayal I had felt in that moment.  I could barely say the words without my voice straining with emotion, but I remember being told I needed to focus on what I needed at that point in time to take care of myself at that stage of my grief.

I realize now that I have not fully forgiven him.  It was not only for the affair, but it was also for bringing into my life this precious soul, his daughter, and how I didn’t want to hurt her by making a choice to leave the relationship.  I put myself into the situation, but I felt like a victim.  I didn’t want her to feel the pain I was feeling, I didn’t want the holidays to be ruined.  I didn’t want to lose her.  So I chose to stay, and exercise the desire to forgive in an effort to keep my life together.

In the end, it all fell apart anyway.  And in the end, I lost that relationship with his daughter.  But I do realize, that fully forgiving my ex-husband and myself will open new doorways for me and her.  I would have dreams with her, and we would be whispering to one another so that her father would not hear us talking.  When I would awaken I would just pray that her heart was full of the love she deserved and that she could forgive me.  Now, I need to fill my heart with the love I deserve as well, by allowing forgiveness in conjunction with this surrender to be complete.  Our potential in our lives to experience joy from moment to moment is so great.  Through the experience of forgiveness we finally become aware of our greatest potential to live and be loved.  The opportunity to align our self-perception with one of complete acceptance can set us free from the idea that we are not free.

Exercise

Close your eyes, and ask your heart to reveal to you a moment in time where you need to still forgive.  It could be anything- just trust what you see, experience the emotion and remember- you are not alone.

Visualize This- Turning Yourself Inside Out

Awareness, Compassion, Mind, Perception, Self Perception, , , , , , , , , , , ,

Each person we meet contains a part of our wholeness.  If you look at a picture of the earth from space- how do you perceive it?  It is luminescent, blue, white, brown- a glowing ball in the middle of space.  From afar you can’t tell that it literally contains everything we experience in our physical world every day- streets, cars, mountains, people, houses, trees, oceans, rivers, little flowers.  Yet every one of these things is a part of the earth’s wholeness.

In thinking about this picture of the earth from the viewpoint of outer space- look at others around you.  Think about your own existence.

How is each person in your life like the earth in this picture?

How much is contained and experienced in their life, that makes them who they are, that you simply can’t see with your naked eye?

Now look within.  Look at your own life and how much you have going on in it.  Everything you see and feel, they experience in their own heart and mind.  We are all a microcosm of the macrocosm.  Our perceptions are fragile, they are not who we are nor are they who the other person is…they serve as tools to navigate and learn.  The foundation of your being exists in what you can’t see from the outside, it is what you see from the inside- always affecting the whole.

“LET’S ROCK BIG LOVE!”™ Jessica
A celebration of our desire to love ourselves Big!

 

directions for an empowered life

Truth or Consequences?! 3 Questions to Ask Yourself on Living an Empowered Life

Empowerment, Life Coach, Mind, Perception, Power, Self Perception, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“In the present circumstances, no one can afford to assume that someone else will solve their problems. Every individual has a responsibility to help guide our global family in the right direction. Good wishes are not sufficient; we must become actively engaged.” – The Dalai Lama, at a Universal Ed for Compassion and Wisdom Conference in Sidney earlier this year.

In my meditation this morning I heard these distinct words-

“You are not a consequence.”

The first thing I had to do was find the more direct definition for consequence, and go from there.  From Dictionary.com we get:

con·se·quence  

Noun

  1. A result or effect of an action or condition.
  2. Importance or relevance: “the past is of no consequence”.

I loved the statement the minute I heard it in my heart.  The statement oozes accountability and authenticity which are primary tenants in understanding how perception plays a role in our lives.  I have often said in my writing that it is important for us to understand how to use the mind to work for us, rather than continue the charade of allowing the ignorant mind to use our precious opportunity of life.

So where do you stand?

  1. Do you see your life as a playground of choices that you get to make every day including your own self perceptions, or do you live your life as if it were a place of consequence?
  2. Do you view life as a result or effect of an action by another?
  3. Are you and your experiences the consequence of others or of your own mind?

Lots of big questions?  I know, I can’t help it!  Something I realized this morning in this meditation as part of this statement on consequence is that my whole existence is the result of a desire to help others.  The root of my existence is not to be kept and harbored but to be shared and lived with others.

We are all a result of a desire to help others.

Years ago I was watching this episode of the show ER- I loved that show.  This one particular episode Eriq La Salle’s character, Dr. Benton, had to do some volunteer work at a mobile medical station in the middle of nowhere Louisiana.  As a black man he was experiencing racism that he hadn’t normally experience, and as an educated man he himself was behaving like a classist that did not want to be there doing this assignment.  Maybe easier said- he was pissed and angry, yet these people needed medical care.  In the end of the show he had experienced a kind of spiritual awakening, where he realized how important it was for his work as a doctor to be used as a means to help people heal- that it went deeper than his ego linked with his ignorant mind initially led on.

At the end of this episode I cried so deeply for like an hour, because in my heart I could not imagine doing anything except helping people heal and I knew it was an innate part of my existence.  We are all a result of a desire to help others.  We are all a result of the desire to love ourselves wholly and in turn love others from the most expanded part of our being.  No matter what we do in this life, we affect people and every moment is an opportunity to offer kindness.  Every little act is part of being accountable and acknowledging that we do not need to be victims of consequence, but part of a life that owns our mind and how it affects the world around us.

“LET’S ROCK BIG LOVE!”™  Jessica

Pop Song

My POP Song Dilemma

Acceptance, Boundaries, Co-dependent, Ego, Life Coach, Love, Meditation, Mind, Perception, Self Perception, self-help, , , , , , , , , , , ,

I know I have my opinions about music, but there is one thing about pop music in the present moment that drives me batty- the lyrics.  And how fitting, to see this recent “Taylor Swift feminist doppledanger” created by Clara Beyer, a rising senior at Brown University, in the news creating more empowering lyrics for Swift’s music!  After living much of my life in a co-dependent fog I can’t help but notice how often lyrics are very reflective of a co-dependent state of mind, feeding a monster within our society that says “I need you” under the guise of love.  Between the neediness and the victim mentality I seem to find myself plugging in my mp3 player almost immediately upon entering my vehicle  or being that really annoying person that keeps changing stations with the hope that something listenable will magically start playing.

The ignorant mind thrives on lyrics like “This is the part of me, That you’re never gonna ever take away from me” from Katy Perry in her song Part of Me.  I mean, no one can ever take a part of you away without your general consent- hence the continuous victim droning that plays over and over again on the radio.  Most of the listeners of Katy Perry are young girls that are buying into this fake sort of empowerment, rather than learning that relationships are not about compromising your integrity to have someone in your life.

Self-Esteem_Cartoon_Streeter

In reflecting, it is difficult for me to know that other girls really believe this stuff and continue to act it out because I used to do the same thing, and it caused me a  lot of suffering.  Not everyone has the tools to walk out of the fog of these types of limiting perceptions, and they continue to teach them to their own children, hence the cycle continues.  My meditation teacher taught me that the greatest way to help the world was to meditate on my own inner peace.  I am so grateful every day for what he taught me, and will continue to work to help all by working on the healing of my very own heart.

There is this great scene in Sex in the City, the first film, where Carrie is reading Cinderella to her goddaughter and she pauses at the end to make sure the little one understands that life does not always turn out that way.  The little girl naively shouts for her to read it again.  Carrie ends the scene with “Another one bites the dust.”  It’s funny, because it is true.

Lessons learned out of my pop song dilemma:

  • Perceptions that thrive on “me versus you” are rooted in the ignorant mind.
  • I am accountable for me and how I perceive the world- no one else.
  • I always have a choice to either accept someone else’s feelings or indulge in being a victim of their feelings.
  • My self-perceptions will always reflect in the way a relationship is unfolding- the more I shift my self-perceptions into purposeful perceptions, the more my relationships will reflect these perceptions rooted in empowerment and joy.

“LET’S ROCK BIG LOVE!”™  Jessica